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How To Fake Clean Your House In 5 Easy Steps

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how to fake clean your house in 5 easy steps. this is hilarious. i can do this and save my sanity!.jpg

It’s Spring.

That time of year when people like to couple the word Spring with the word cleaning.

Not my favorite combination, I admit.

I much prefer duos like milk and cookies or bed and breakfast.

But there is another duo that plagues our homes year round and that is kids and messes.  Those two go hand in hand.

Whether they are painting the walls with their own dirty diaper, or dumping out those super-organized-Ikea-bins, or shaking out a sand-box-filled shoe on the carpet – if you have kids, there will be mess.

If you are a grandma, I hear you.  I hear you telling me not to worry about the mess.  That they are only young for a short season.  To embrace the mess and confidently declare that my children are making memories.  Yes, I hear you.  I even blogged about that HERE.

But the truth is, I like a little bit of order.

I kind of break out in a rash if things get overly cluttered with too many piles of mail/laundry/un-emptied lunchboxes/half-eaten bananas/Matchbox cars taking over every surface in our home.

It is hard to make a good memory when those kinds of messes build up.  Because I am pretty sure that the memories my kids are making are those of me hyperventilating while sitting in the middle of a Lego explosion.

So here are the 5 things I do to COPE in the midst of the mess.

And they take no more than 5 minutes – total!

These 5 little tricks won’t help you if you have a ring around your bathtub or cobwebs in your chandelier, but they will make your home feel a little more like you can live in it without having a panic attack.

You can call it Spring Cleaning for Dummies.  Or Fake Cleaning.  Or Sanity Saving Steps to Somewhat Order.

Whatever you call it, I hope these simple ideas will inspire you to have your spring and your clean too!

Tip #1 – Make your bed.spring cleaning for dummies1.jpg.jpgspring cleaning for dummies2.jpg

This is usually where I begin.

If I am completely overwhelmed by the mess in a room, I make the bed.

This immediately helps me feel enough better about everything else (dust, piles, iron that I never use) that I can move on to another task.

Like…

Tip #2 – Close the closet doors.spring cleaning for dummies5.jpgspring cleaning for dummies6.jpg

I tend to throw things in closets to forget they exist, so when the doors are open, it can make a room feel a whole lot worse than it is.

Take 2 seconds to slide the doors closed and breathe a sigh of relief.

I think whoever first said, “Out of sight, out of mind,” closed a closet door before that zinger fell off their lips.

Tip #3 – Close the shower curtains.spring cleaning for dummies3.jpgspring cleaning for dummies4.jpg

The same is true for shower curtains.

Every time I give the boys a bath I wonder if their bath toys are procreating in there at night because they just keep multiplying!  The little toy basket I bought doesn’t fit them all anymore and it takes way too long to clean them up at the end of the bath when all I want to do is get the monkeys toweled off and in bed.

So we close the curtain and carry on until the next bath.

Tip #4 – Fluff pillows.spring cleaning for dummies7.jpgspring cleaning for dummies8.jpg

I must do this about 6,735 times a day.

But it makes the whole room feel company ready (even if when said company sits down they find Cheerios and all manner of unidentifiable crumbs under their toes.  And possibly an old snot rag stuffed down in between the cushions).

Tip #5 – Clear the fridge.spring cleaning for dummies9.jpgspring cleaning for dummies10.jpg

There comes a day about every 6 weeks where I start feeling a little claustrophobic about what’s happening on our fridge door.

The Happy Buddy seems to think that every single piece of art he creates (including the half-hazard scribbles and unending trail of worksheets from school) are fridge worthy.

I am always secretly throwing his things away and then piling other trash on top because he has discovered one too many times his work in the garbage and then looked at me with accusing eyes and said, “Mommy!  Why are you throwing away all of my beautiful things?”

Because Mommy is about to lose her marbles, maybe????

No, actually, I try to say in a bright voice, “Because now we can start over with new artwork, my little Picasso!”

And then we repeat the same scenario 6 weeks later.

So, there you go!  Close up your computer or put down your phone and try these 5 simple tips and you will be feeling like a million bucks.

Until the kids decide to have a pillow fight while playing elevator in the closets.

In that case, my only spring cleaning tip for you is to…

Go eat a piece of chocolate and spray everything with Febreze.

Bam.

Happy Fake Spring Cleaning! 🙂

Fairy Tips, Spring
Fairy Tips, Mommy Encouragement, Spring, Spring Cleaning
22 Comments

About Happy Home Fairy

Julie Brasington is a Preschool Director, wife of a South Florida Worship Pastor and mom of 3 boys. She writes at Happy Home Fairy where you can find easy craft ideas, FREE printables, simple recipes, holiday fun, thoughts on raising kids, and encouragement for moms.

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Reader Interactions

22 Comments

  1. Lisa

    May 1, 2014 at 2:35 pm

    Ha, I love it! I do numbers 1-4 daily for the same reason. I add to my list making sure the toilet seat covers are down, too. The only reason I don’t do number 5 is because our one-year-old hasn’t started creating any masterpieces yet! 😀

    reply to this comment
  2. Rosie

    May 1, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    I agree with making the bed! If I do nothing else all day, and the bed is made, it looks like I made an effort and did something!

    reply to this comment
  3. Amy

    May 1, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    i love how you close this post with a Bam. So funny. these are all good tips by the way 🙂

    reply to this comment
  4. Mandy

    May 1, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    So glad I’m 1) not the only one who breaks out into a rash when things get cray-cray around the house and 2) not the only one that does these 5 things on a regular basis to maintain sanity. Funny post … thanks for sharing!

    reply to this comment
  5. Leni

    May 1, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    I needed this laugh and proud to say I do all 5! Bam!

    reply to this comment
  6. Rachel

    May 1, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    What a GREAT post!!!! I can relate on all counts!!!

    reply to this comment
  7. amandadolsen

    May 1, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Great ideas, and what a lovely shower curtain. 🙂

    reply to this comment
  8. Melanie

    May 1, 2014 at 11:10 pm

    Great tips! I also think that is a very pretty shower curtain!

    reply to this comment
  9. corinnebjacob

    May 2, 2014 at 2:20 am

    Has anyone ever told you you are a genius? They should. Everyday!

    reply to this comment
  10. Joyce

    May 2, 2014 at 6:44 am

    LOL! I love the one about closet doors! I do it all the time but I never even thought about why.

    reply to this comment
  11. Joanna

    May 2, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    I love this post! Thanks for the visuals! You are awesome!!

    reply to this comment
  12. upsidedownperfection

    May 3, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Ha! That is just too funny!!! No seriously….where’s the camera? I do the exact same things on days when I’ve been swamped at the computer or away loving on my class of 3 year old’s.
    It just makes me feel so much better! And the hubby thinks I’ve been working hard on the house all day! Shhhhh! Love your blog!

    reply to this comment
  13. April

    May 5, 2014 at 1:45 pm

    Love it all – I feel a little claustrophobic about my fridge door as well – I too have been caught with a few masterpieces in the trash can. Little magnets drive me nuts too =)

    reply to this comment
    • Happy Home Fairy

      May 31, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      April – hilarious that they caught the stuff in the trash! I always feel SO bad. 🙂 But sanity rules. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

      reply to this comment
  14. Emily

    May 6, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    Can I just say that I love that you showed pics of your house! Seriously! It’s great to realize that I don’t have to have perfect granite counter tops, curtains hanging from each window (I’ve lived in my house 9 years and no curtains), updated appliances, and perfect everything……I don’t have to have all these things to be a good mom. Society and HGTV tell me that I’m not a good mom and my house is ugly since it’s not beautifully updated. Thanks for always being so honest, and such a great image of a Christian Mother and wife!

    reply to this comment
    • Brandi

      May 11, 2014 at 5:09 am

      Emily, this is all so true. A good reminder!

      reply to this comment
    • Happy Home Fairy

      May 31, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      Emily, curtains are just dust collectors! 🙂 My home is decorated with love and grace and Cheerios. 🙂 You are an AMAZING mom. Teaching your kids about Jesus, that’s all that really matters in the end, yes? 🙂

      reply to this comment
  15. Brandi

    May 11, 2014 at 5:08 am

    I try to do all 5, but I think I like #6 the best! 😉
    I love your way with words!

    reply to this comment
    • Happy Home Fairy

      May 31, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      Brandi! You just made my day! THANK YOU!

      reply to this comment
  16. kathrynritchie

    August 30, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    Reblogged this on Diadem Planners and commented:
    It’s a great afternoon to fake clean your house!

    reply to this comment
  17. kathrynritchie

    August 30, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    I just read this and thought God must have had you write it just for me! I haven’t been able to walk for a few weeks and have a few more months to go of foot healing. I’ve been looking around my house and feeling quite discouraged about everything since it is hard to really clean with crutches. I’m off to fake clean right now! 🙂

    reply to this comment
  18. Michelle

    March 24, 2015 at 9:29 am

    Live how real and practical this is! You took the words right out of my mouth. Especially the crushed cheerios part. We host a house church and I’m sure on more than one occasion we have had people step on cheerios that escaped our vacuum cleaner (ha! Who am I kidding. After 6 years and two kids I don’t always vacuum before they come over. Hey, at least I clear off all the children’s books from the couch so they can at least sit down.) Thanks for these tips and for being real!

    reply to this comment

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Hey there! My name is Julie, the Happy Home Fairy. I am married to a Worship Pastor, we have 3 boys, and I am a Preschool Director. I love sharing easy, fun ideas to help moms build a happy home! Here you will find simple crafts, FREE Printables, yummy recipes, stories about my journey to trust Jesus with my family, and encouragement for your mama's heart. You can read more about me HERE!

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