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3 Phrases That Will Change Your Marriage

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A few weeks ago I did something that had repercussions on our family, our finances, and our emotional and physical health.

And do you know what Mr. B. did?

He loved me.

He showed me kindness where I deserved frustration.  He extended grace where I deserved punishment.  He was patient where I deserved anger.  And he was compassionate where I deserved an I told you so.

I kept waiting for him to snap out of it – for the patience and grace and kindness to run out.

But it hasn’t.

(And I don’t think it ever will.  Hubby, please confirm this in the comments section.) 😉

As we drove to work one day last week, I thanked him for the way he was treating me and I told him that he was a picture of Christ in my life.

So many times we choose impatience, criticism, and pride in our relationships instead of the narrow path of love.  Culture tells us to serve ourselves – to put our personal happiness before holiness and to do what feels good instead of what is biblical.

Mr. B. could have done that to me as I wrestled with my poor choice and my many other struggles as a human.  And there have been seasons where I could have done that to him as well.  But we have learned that marriage is an opportunity to daily share and experience the Gospel together.  Doing this then shares the Gospel with our communities and builds the kingdom as we walk in a covenant that mirrors the powerful, redeeming work of Jesus.

Are you wondering how to get there in your marriage?  Here are 3 simple phrases you can start using today to be a picture of Christ to your spouse and build a marriage that builds the kingdom.

I APPRECIATE YOU

We tend to want to focus on everything that is wrong or lacking in our lives.  This is often especially true in our marriages.  We can grow so critical of our husbands that we fail to notice all of the good that they do every day!  So instead of trying to fix him, choose to thank him.  Your husband may have weaknesses – just like you – but I guarantee that he does things every day that serve you and your home.  Is he helpful with the kids?  Does he make dinner on occasion?  Does he take out the trash?  Does he handle the bills?  Does he go to work every day?  Does he put his clothes in the hamper?  Does he keep your toes warm at night?  THANK HIM.

Further Reading – How Gratitude Transforms Marriage

I NEED YOU

When Adam and Eve fell, one of Eve’s consequences was that she would desire to control her husband (Genesis 3:16).  We must be careful not to think that we can do his job better.  If we are always making him feel like we know best, he might lose his sense of purpose in our homes.  There are respectful and loving ways to communicate with our husbands, but the big idea is that our men need to be encouraged regularly that they are a valuable and necessary part of the family.

My husband is a strong and wise leader in our home.  He is clear-headed, brave, in the business of rescuing, and he is hilarious.  As much as I embrace fun, there are times my perfectionism can get me circling the drain when things with the boys (and everything) don’t go as I had hoped.  My husband knows how to make the boys and I laugh when we are tangled up in all-the-emotions.  He also humbly unclogs toilets and exterminates the bugs in the house.  He gives me godly advice whenever I ask.  He is an example of biblical manhood to our boys.  And I am SO thankful that Mr. B. handles the “birds and the bees” talk with Noah and Jet.  I couldn’t do this without him and I tell him that every day!

I WANT YOU

Speaking of the birds and the bees, if you haven’t already figured it out, 😉 physical intimacy is extremely important in a marriage.  It is good for us to take time to try to understand our men’s need in this area, because a man’s ability to perform and serve in the bedroom is central to his confidence as a man.  I know it can be hard when you have kids, or live in a small house (AHEM), or are TIRED every second, but we are wise to celebrate this as a gift because God created it for us to enjoy!  Need help finding a few fun ways to connect behind closed doors?  I share a few creative and slightly PG-13 (wink) ideas HERE.

Further Reading – Understanding Your Husband’s Sexual Needs

Marriage will never be perfect, but it will be fruitful – for both husband and wife – if we commit to loving and seeing our spouses as God does.

Then these 3 little phrases will flow off our lips without a second thought and the Gospel of Christ will reign in our homes – even if he doesn’t put his clothes in the hamper. 🙂

Joyfully,

Julie

“Always be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” Ephesians 4:2

Marriage, Popular, Valentine's Day
Christian Marriage, Encouragement, Love, Marriage, Mommy Encouragement, Valentine's Day
9 Comments

About Happy Home Fairy

Julie Brasington is a Preschool Director, wife of a South Florida Worship Pastor and mom of 3 boys. She writes at Happy Home Fairy where you can find easy craft ideas, FREE printables, simple recipes, holiday fun, thoughts on raising kids, and encouragement for moms.

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Reader Interactions

9 Comments

  1. Ryan

    February 8, 2018 at 8:31 am

    Actually, I was hoping you’d bring up the grace-never-runs-out thing… You have two days left. 😜 lol – Love you, and that will never change.

    And I will see a therapist about my hamper struggle. #inbetweenpilersunite!

    to Ryan" aria-label='reply to this comment to Ryan'>reply to this comment
    • Happy Home Fairy

      February 8, 2018 at 9:40 pm

      I am SO relieved, babe. 😉 You are the greatest. <3

      to Happy Home Fairy" aria-label='reply to this comment to Happy Home Fairy'>reply to this comment
    • Happy Home Fairy

      February 8, 2018 at 9:40 pm

      And also I don’t mind your hamper issues. I love serving you in that way. 😉

      to Happy Home Fairy" aria-label='reply to this comment to Happy Home Fairy'>reply to this comment
    • Susana

      February 8, 2020 at 1:12 pm

      Hello my name is Susan. I love your message so much!! Thank you for sharing great ideas. I have 3 boys of age 9,15,18 . My oldest son just got his invitation to attend CSU’s college can’t explain how much I thank God for the opportunity. I didn’t teach my kids about God when they were little but I’m happy I accepted Jesus in my heart 5 years ago and I pray that God teach me more about him to share that with my boys .

      to Susana" aria-label='reply to this comment to Susana'>reply to this comment
  2. Courtney

    February 8, 2018 at 3:07 pm

    I LOVE this article! Thank you!!!

    to Courtney" aria-label='reply to this comment to Courtney'>reply to this comment
  3. Jennifer Sasser

    February 9, 2018 at 2:51 am

    I love your articles and this was an especially good one.. We need to remember to appreciate.. and love our spouses.. Amen!

    to Jennifer Sasser" aria-label='reply to this comment to Jennifer Sasser'>reply to this comment
  4. Julie

    February 9, 2018 at 7:41 am

    Thank you for your service to women and their husbands. Pray fir me as I worked to do this more. Its been a rough road. ☺

    to Julie" aria-label='reply to this comment to Julie'>reply to this comment
  5. Angela

    February 9, 2018 at 7:46 am

    What a great encouragement! Thank you my friend ☺️

    to Angela" aria-label='reply to this comment to Angela'>reply to this comment
  6. Marci

    March 10, 2018 at 12:08 am

    You always know what to say. Thank you Julie. I love u so.

    to Marci" aria-label='reply to this comment to Marci'>reply to this comment

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Hey there! My name is Julie, the Happy Home Fairy. I am married to a Worship Pastor, we have 3 boys, and I am a Preschool Director. I love sharing easy, fun ideas to help moms build a happy home! Here you will find simple crafts, FREE Printables, yummy recipes, stories about my journey to trust Jesus with my family, and encouragement for your mama's heart. You can read more about me HERE!

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