How To Manage a Mommy Meltdown (Without a Trip to Target)

Managing a Mommy Meltdown - I need this for those tough days!!!Let me paint a picture of something we are all familiar with.

You’ve been up with someone all night long.

And that someone was probably either throwing up, pooping, or wanting to suck on your boob every 5 minutes.

The sun finally peeks over the horizon and your other children are now awake and demanding food, squeezing toothpaste all over the countertops, and bringing out every toy in their closets.

Someone gets hurt climbing on the couch.

Siblings argue over the the last waffle.

The How-to-Homeschool book you recently bought is gathering dust on the counter.

You check Facebook in between kissing booboos, wiping up syrup spills, and throwing your hair in a messy bun and you see that all your friends have gone for a jog at 4 am, actually taken showers, dressed their children in adorable matching outfits, and shared photos of their morning smoothie #kale.

Someone discovers a trail of sugar ants in the pantry.

You hear what sounds like a box of toothpicks being dropped on the floor in the next room.

You discover that the dog has eaten your favorite pair of shoes.

A child that might belong to the neighbors comes barreling through the kitchen with muddy feet.

You go through an old pile of mail to find a bill that is now past due.

Finally, you sit down to breathe for a minute, reach for your coffeemaker and…

It’s broken.

That is the moment where the tears start piling up in your eyes and spilling over like the mountain of laundry that is overflowing in the upstairs hallway.

You yell at the next little person who walks in the room to ask for a banana (which you know you will find later in the week under someone’s bed).

You race to the bathroom for a full out ugly cry session, but as you sit on the toilet, 3 sets of hands start poking their way under the door crack.

How is a woman supposed to deal with these moments without pulling out what’s left of her post-natal head of hair or spending a child’s college fund on a therapy shopping trip to Target?

Here are some ways that I have learned to cope on those days when ALL HOPE SEEMS LOST.

#1 – Take a 5 minute Time-Out

When I feel my insides bubbling like a bottle of Diet Coke with a Mentos in it, I try to stop things before the big explode.  I will announce loudly that Mommy (not them) needs a time-out and then head to a spot in the house to be alone for 5 minutes.  Usually this is the bathroom.

*Note – If seeing hands poking under the door bothers you, climb into the shower and close the curtain.*

The hardest part is sticking to 5 minutes.  Be careful not to fall asleep in there or get lost checking email (and don’t – I repeat – DON’T get on Instagram or Facebook during a mommy meltdown – scrolling through everyone’s ‘best’ moments will not help your current situation) because for every minute past 5, a child will probably be doing something in the house that will create more work and drama for you later – like getting into the china cabinet or playing with your favorite pieces of jewelry in the kitchen sink.

#2 – Get dressed

If you are still in your pajamas – put some clothes on.

Sometimes just putting a bra or mascara on gives me that extra umph to think clearly.

#3 – Make contact with the outside world

Often we need to get out of our 4 walls and be reminded that there are other women out there having rough mornings too.  A few days ago when a solo trip to Ikea went really bad – like one kid screaming hysterically through the store for 15 minutes straight because his flip flop felt sticky???  And the other kid throwing a tantrum because we’d already gone on the elevator 503 times and he wanted 504???  She promptly responded with her own tale of a child just having a massive meltdown in the library.  The library, people.   We were able to encourage each other to keep persevering and I felt loads better.  Not because I was happy about my friend’s bad experience, I was just relieved to know that I wasn’t alone.

#4 – Turn on some worship music

When my spirit is in turmoil, I reach for my CD player (I am slightly Amish and don’t have an iPod). :-)

Listening to worship music (Hillsong, Elevation, Jesus Culture) or any Kari Jobe album (which is the equivalent of listening to angels sing) is an essential tool in my mommy meltdown arsenal.

Every once in awhile I will even scoop up my kids, buckle them in the car, give them a bag of Goldfish, set up the worship music and go for a drive.  Sometimes just driving around listening to songs about the Lord’s faithful, loving hand – with no destination in mind – can create an unexpected peace.

Just make sure that your turbulent mental state isn’t going to cause you to hit the gas pedal too hard.  Adding a speeding ticket to your already ‘perfect’ day will not be amusing.

Plus, it’s not safe.

#5 – Have a ‘Do Over’

On days when nothing is going right, attitudes are stinky, and situations keep circling from bad to worse, I tell my children that we are having a Do Over.  We all climb in bed and pretend to start the day over.  We ‘wake up’, greet each other happily and begin the day again with all our normal morning routines.  You can even go as far as serving breakfast a second time.  Whip up a batch of homemade waffles to redeem that argument from earlier. :-)

This usually gets everyone smiling and is a great demonstration of that verse from Lamentations about His mercies being new every morning…

#6 – Do something nice for someone else

Having a bad mommy day?  Go Ding Dong Diaper Ditch a new mom.  Or leave a new doormat on someone’s doorstep.  Or head to Starbucks and pay for the order of the person behind you.  Text a friend an encouraging word.  Send someone an E-card.

You will feel better.  I promise.

#7 – Bedtime Redemption

When all else fails and the day is ending and you reflect back on a whole lot of tense situations, angry glares, and harsh words, I like to use bedtime as a place to seek my childrens’ forgiveness for the ways I failed to honor the Lord (and them) with my behavior that day.  There is something special about those moments before bed – their little hearts are open a bit more (possibly because they know hanging out with me allows them to stay up later – ha!), but nonetheless, they are a bit more subdued than during the waking hours and it makes for a quiet pocket to reconnect.

**End the day well.**

#8 – The only thing that will REALLY work

The above suggestions are great, but managing a mommy meltdown can truly only be solved with the powerful words of God.

Because often a mommy meltdown is fueled by overwhelming feelings of weakness, unrealistic expectations, inadequacy, failure, self-condemnation, and other destructive lies.

And the only way to destroy lies is to replace them with truth.

Speak to yourself Psalm 18:32 – “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.”

Or Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Or Joshua 1:9, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Or a favorite of mine – Deuteronomy 33:12, “Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders.”

Those are the words that will wash over your soul and remove away the anger and stress and 100,000 tiny things that led you to the point of critical mass.

So when you’re headed to the bathroom for your 5-minute time-out, grab the Bible on your way.

Use those precious minutes to get filled up with all the wonderful promises He has for you in that Good Book.

And when your 5 minutes are up, let Him lift you up on His shoulders and carry you out of the bathroom and through your house (stepping over the laundry and discarded banana and yes, toothpicks) to continue pressing on in the calling of motherhood.

Being a mom is tough.  Days like the one I described above are probably going to happen and you will probably struggle to manage it well (unless you happen to be in the Duggar family).

But grace is about His strength being made perfect in weakness.

So let your mommy meltdown be the thing that draws you closer to Him instead of closer to bankruptcy.

Because Target ain’t got nothing on Jesus.

How do you manage a Mommy Meltdown?

- Julie :-)

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

Provisions

When we got back from this trip we were greeted by the squishing of our toes in the corner of our dining room carpet.

Somehow water had leaked into the house while we were away and soaked through the dining room carpet as well as part of our tiled pantry.

Personally, I preferred the squishing of my toes in the sand of the Bahama beaches, but whatever. :-)

The hubs pulled the carpet back and set up a fan and we thought we had it all figured out.

Until a few weeks later when I went in the pantry to pull out my craft bin and low and behold discovered a garden of mold growing.

This led to the discovery that the outside of our house had a bunch of cracks which led to the unveiling of more mold that stretched all along the left side of the kitchen which led to the ripping out of cabinets which led to the relocation of waffle makers and mixing bowls and utensil drawers which led to the entire pantry needing to be stored on the dining room table which led to my children thinking that our home was now a Grand Corral buffet open all day long which led to the realization that we had absolutely no money to fix anything which led to us contacting our insurance for help.

As much as the water damage and mold was a big pain, the prospect of getting some financial assistance to fix things up was kind of exciting.

So I did what anyone would do.

I started a board on Pinterest for a kitchen remodel.

I’ve always been pretty happy with our kitchen.  It’s old and it has some funny quirks, but they never bothered me.

That is, until I began pinning.

Then I became hopelessly troubled that I didn’t have granite countertops and 42″ cabinets.

Armed with the knowledge that our insurance adjustor was ‘busy working behind the scenes’ with the claims department, we visited Home Depot and started dreaming up our perfect kitchen.  I began praying that insurance would give us a specific amount so that I could get my granite countertops AND possibly throw in some updated appliances AND maybe have a bit left over to replace the carpets.

**You know, totally and completely not selfish prayers.**

7 weeks later and we received a call that our insurance would not be helping us.

Not one little bit.

And I found myself feeling kind of grumpy.

What about my beautiful new kitchen?  What about my stainless steel things?  What about my granite?

And the Lord whispered to my spirit,

“Insurance is not your provider.  I AM your provider.”

Talk about a swift kick to the knees.

I repented of my selfish prayers.  The ones that didn’t take into account all the people in the universe who live in homes with dirt floors and no kitchens AT ALL.

I thanked God for giving us all that we could ever ask for or need in Jesus Christ.

Then something amazing happened.

Over the next few days, a man at church approached my hubby and said that he felt the Lord telling him to help us fix the leaks on the outside of our house as well as help repaint the exterior.  Then another man approached the hubby and said he could help rebuild the damaged cabinets.  Then another man took care of all the mold.  Then a few friends showed up with casseroles.

Then a friend of my neighbor’s found out about my Summer Bucket List and told me she worked at Benjamin Moore and could give us paint for my beloved yellow front door.

And we found ourselves completely and utterly in awe of the Lord’s provision.

In reflection, I am so humbled by how quick I was to exalt money to a position that was equated with my happiness.  As if receiving a large sum of money would fulfill the deepest desires of my soul.

As if a double oven could even do that.

When I look around our home, I see my Father’s handprints. I see the dining table that my parents bought for us.  I see the bookshelves a dear friend in college gave to us as newlyweds.  I see the crib and changing table from a former student’s mom.  I see a playhouse from my mother-in-law.  I see a couch we bought for a steal because the manager felt moved to accept our offer.  I see a bed given to us from another friend.  I see a dresser that we found in the garbage.  I see the mirror that a friend bought for me as a happy gift when our baby was in the hospital.  I see the dresser that used to be my brother’s.  I see the piano given to us by a girl we knew at Florida State.  I see our bedroom furniture that belonged to my parents when they first got married.

Provisions.  Needs met.  Every single one with a story behind it.  A reminder of GOD’s faithful provision through precious, obedient people.

Like the Church as described in Acts 2.

That is the stuff that works itself into our souls.

So as we face these ‘trials’ – these fallen world problems – I’m trying to train myself to see things with eyes fixed on a different home.

A home that is way more perfect than any of the ones in Southern Living.

A home that won’t ever have settling cracks or mold or damaged cabinetry.

A home that is full of glorious riches far greater than a check from insurance.

A home that is eternally provided for us through the perfect work of Christ.

This perspective gives freedom to be patient while it looks like your kitchen vomited its contents all over the living room (going on week 8).  It gives peace in knowing that He sees what we need.  It gives overwhelming gratitude when needs are creatively met.

And it gives joy to be fully trusting in the One who knows best.

Which reminds me…  I picked out a color for our front door -

pure joyBenjamin Moore – Pure Joy #327.

:-)

- Julie

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 (NIV)

For Busy Moms – What To Eat For Lunch

Hey there readers!  Today I am excited to share with you one of my dearest friends and college roommate – Jenna Braddock, from Fresh Food Perspectives.  This girl is AMAZING.  I loved getting to live with her during our FSU days and see what God was doing in her heart as she pursued a calling in nutrition.  She taught me so much about living for Jesus, eating healthy and caring for my body.  I asked if she would write a post for Happy Home Fairy featuring ideas about what busy moms can eat for lunch because, I don’t know about you, but this is the meal that I tend to have NO CLUE what to do with and usually end up eating yogurt and chocolate chips – which isn’t exactly fuel for finishing the laundry and having tickle fights with my boys.  I know you will love her wisdom and fresh ideas about food. :-)

What can busy moms eat for lunch?? Great, easy ideas!Lunch time.  Oh, lunch time.

In my house it usually happens like this:

We’ve been out all morning (at the gym, playground, grocery store, Costco, etc.) and because we don’t live near ANYTHING – except a Starbucks – we are literally out for the entire morning.

When we walk in the door, hopefully a little before noon, my baby is cranky, I’m starving, and my toddler is saying he is hungry– every. ten. seconds.  I’m trying to put away bags or food, entertain baby until I can feed him, figure out what we are going to eat, and pray for patience to answer my toddler’s non-stop food requests.

It’s not always pretty.

For a while, I just focused on feeding my boys and getting them down for their nap.  I figured that I’d feed myself after all that chaos was over.  But by the time I did end up eating (around 1:30pm), I was either too tired to care (and then just picked at something dumb) or I’d be ravenous and attack chips or chocolate before a thought of a vegetable even crossed my mind.  Neither of these paths left me feeling good in any way.  And it certainly didn’t set me up to have a productive nap time – which is crucial for my work life.  Most of the time, I’d end up needing a nap myself (which I 100% support, but don’t always want to feel like I need one).

After one too many afternoons of this, I realized that in order to be the mom I need to be for my family, my lunch needed to be just as important as my boys’ lunch.

Since then, things have changed a little around here at lunch time.

One, I try to plan ahead.

In fact, I do this for my sitter when she is here during lunch time so that it will be smooth and easy for her.  So why don’t I do that for myself?  Hmm.

Two, I now take a few extra minutes to prepare my lunch as well and then we all sit down together.

Usually I will serve my toddler and I the same thing.  I don’t necessarily eat his lunch, he eats my lunch (it’s semantics but I think it’s an important point).  Sometimes they come in slightly different versions – his is a “deconstructed” version of mine – but this makes it easier and enforces the idea that we all just eat food (as opposed to kids eat ‘kid food’ and adults eat ‘adult food’).

Here are a few ideas of the lunches I eat that make me feel energized and are fairly simple to prepare.  Cooking quinoa or prepping veggies on the weekend makes these meals happen a lot more easily during the week.

  1. Deli meat and cheese roll ups with a slice of avocado inside; broccoli and hummus.

  2. 1 cup Plain Greek yogurt with chopped cucumber, fresh dill, cumin, and raisins mixed in. Whole grain crackers on the side.

  3. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich (natural PB and all-natural jelly) on whole wheat bread, carrot sticks and fresh berries on the side.

  4. Quinoa and black bean bowl with salsa, cheese, avocado.

  5. Salad with grilled chicken (leftover from dinner), fresh strawberries, chips and guacamole.

  6. Frozen veggie burger (lately, it’s this brand) with slice of cheese or sliced avocado, carrots and hummus, and blueberries.

What I look for in a lunch is a source of protein, at least one fruit or veggie, and something “happy” (e.g. a favorite healthy food like avocado, hummus, PB, black beans, whole grain chips, or sparkling water like La Croix).  Anything too high in carbs makes me feel sleepy and I need to have energy to get stuff done during nap time.  Including a “happy” food helps me not go back to the pantry several times during the afternoon to find something for my hankering.  It’s also a good idea to try to include many colors in your meal – especially something green.

So ladies, please take the time to care for yourself at lunch.  You may need a few different strategies to help you pull off lunches, depending on the schedule for your day.  Crazy days may need a short and sweet plan.  Less involved days may allow you to put in a little more time.

Either way, a little planning goes a long way!

What are your favorite go-to lunches?

- Jenna

________________________________________________

Jenna Braddock, MSH, RD, CSSD, LD/N is a registered dietitian and a mom to two boys. When not chasing down her sons or watching her husband coach football, she enjoys helping people have a positive relationship with food and reach their goals. As a nutrition expert she works as a healthy living speaker, nutrition counselor, blogger, recipe developer and media spokesperson. You can follow her fresh perspective and healthy recipes on her blog at www.FreshFoodPerspectives.com or on Twitter and Instagram as @JBraddockRD.

5 Fun Photos To Take At The Beach

fun photos to take at the beach - such easy and adorable ideas

 Are you planning a trip to the beach this summer?

If so, then you MUST give one of these hilarious and super easy photo ideas a try.

fun photos to take at the beach 3Bury one child in the sand and then have another child bend over him for this funny headless kid illusion (via HERE).

6014187274_f5e5412fcd_oHave everyone bend over and draw a face in the sand where there shadow falls (via HERE).

fun photos to take at the beach 1Build a snowman and get your Christmas card photo taken care of in advance (via HERE).

fun photos to take at the beach 2

Having a family reunion soon?

Hit the dollar store for a billion beach balls and snap a photo of everyone playing with them (via the amazing Kristen Duke Photography).

fun photos to take at the beach 5And finally, this one (via HERE) is my fave.

Grab a beach bucket and head a short distance away from your subjects.

Hold the bucket in front of the camera, have your subjects act afraid, and SNAP.

It will get a ton of ‘likes’ on Facebook and Instagram – no doubt.

**But ‘likes’ don’t matter, right? **

;-)

It’s all in making that fun memory with your Happy Home.

Happy Fun Photo At the Beach-ing! :-)

*Check out fun and easy photo ideas using chalk HERE!*

Your Greatest Success (Is Not In a Selfie)

your greatest success

The other day I posted a photo of myself on Instagram and then found myself checking my phone every few minutes to see who liked it.

After about an hour, I decided that it didn’t get as many likes as I had hoped, so I took it down – a little ashamed and a little embarrassed.

Then I went on to obsess about what my next social media share would be and how to redeem that deleted fail.

Am I 13 years old???? :-)

No, but I am one who tends to struggle with being a people pleaser.

This part of my personality can be a great blessing because it helps me think about how I can love and serve people better.

But it can also become a curse if all I focus on is how to make people happy.

That’s why social media stuff can be dangerous for pleasers.  Sometimes we care too much.

Sometimes we get a little too focused on promoting ourselves because we like being ‘liked.’

Then our identity gets all tied up in what the people say.

We are often left with the thought – if the likes were not enough then I must not be enough.

And we feel like we have failed.

Ah, friends.

What if real success is something completely different than what our social media-driven world has to offer?

What if our greatest successes were the things that NO ONE on the planet could see in an Instagram or Facebook feed?

Consider Abraham…  Do you think Abraham would have stopped to post a selfie before almost sacrificing his son, Isaac, on top of Mount Moriah?

No…  His act was one of quiet obedience.  He didn’t share it with anyone but His Father.

And God credited that humble act as one of Abraham’s greatest successes.

What about Mary?  Do you suppose she would have snapped a shot of the opening of the cave before entering it to birth the Savior and hashtagged the photo #heregoesnothing?

No…  She quietly submitted to the Lord’s leading and entered that cave alone.  Only God, her husband, and some animals saw that precious choice.

Now think of your own successes – the quiet ones.  The ones that never pop up on a mobile device.

Like when you chose not to yell at your kids today.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you got up early to read your Bible and pray.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you sat with your child and built some Legos instead of checked email.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you chose not to wear the sexy shoes to church.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you decided to praise Him instead of be anxious.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you didn’t click that link to an inappropriate website or read that questionable book.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you chose contentment while standing in a room with laundry piles, stained carpets, and unidentifiable odor.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you made the effort to go to church even though it would interrupt the baby’s schedule.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you didn’t nag your husband but complimented him instead.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you decided that you would not compare yourself to that other woman.

God saw that as a great success.

Like how you took extra moments at bed time to read a Bible story and pray with your child.

God saw that as a great success.

Like when you chose love instead of bitterness or anger or gossip.

God saw that as a great success.

God saw it.

Not your here today, gone tomorrow ‘friends.’

As we grow in the Lord our focus should become less about how to make ourselves ‘liked’ more.

Less about needing the approval of the planet to feel successful and good about ourselves.

As we grow in the Lord our focus becomes more about the quiet little things that only God sees because He is the one we want to make happy.

Lately I have been rehearsing this verse from Psalm 86:12 over and over in my heart,

“I will glorify YOUR name forever.”

Not my name.

Jesus’ name.

Jesus, who never posted about all his miracles.  Jesus, who didn’t take a selfie with the woman at the well.  Jesus, who didn’t throw his arm around the resurrected Lazarus for a quick pic.

Jesus, who was often trying to GET AWAY from the crowds.

Jesus, who after feeding thousands of people with just 5 loaves of bread and a few fish, quietly slipped off to pray instead of sticking around to hear how many people ‘liked’ his meal.

Because Jesus was more interested in hearing his Father’s voice of loving assurance, “This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased,” than being affirmed by the voices of the people (the same people who would inevitably be hungry again in a few hours).

Are selfies bad?  Is Facebook wrong?

No, we just have to be aware of our motives before making a post.

Then we remember to find our worth and value in Jesus, who didn’t just ‘like’ us, but LOVED us enough to die in our place so that we would never have to feel like failures again.

And that, sweet readers, is really and truly the only success that matters.

- Julie :-)

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.”

Lyrics from Be Thou My Vision

Summer Service Ideas – FREE Printable

While your kids are draping themselves over chairs complaining that there’s nothing to do, gently encourage their little hearts to go and be a blessing to someone.

Here are a few ways we like to serve in the hot months of summer…summer serve ideas at happy home fairy.jpg

Our favorite is to bring cold water bottles to the garbage men – I learned that one from my sweet dad!

Click HERE for your FREE Summer Service Printable

Happy Summer Service-ing! :-)

How To Make A Number 5 Cake

how to make a number 5 cake at happyhomefairy.com.jpg

The Happy Buddy turned 5 on the 3rd of July and I really wanted to make him a special birthday cake to celebrate.

I almost gave up and called the Publix bakery after looking on Pinterest and seeing so many intricate, difficult, you-might-need-a-culinary-arts-degree-to-make-it cakes.

But then I saw a few Number 5 cakes and knew I could pull it off without having to buy fondant or 300 special frosting tips.

This cake is SO easy.

Here is a photo tutorial of what I did -

how to make a number 5 cakehow to make a number 5 cake 1how to make a number 5 cake 2how to make a number 5 cake 3how to make a number 5 cake 4how to make a number 5 cake 5how to make a number 5 cake 6how to make a number 5 cake 7how to make a number 5 cake 8

At this point I decided to decorate the cake with M&Ms.

About 10 minutes in to the color sorting and meticulous placing, I regretted this decision immensely.

how to make a number 5 cake 9But I persevered and the finished product was so cute I forgot about the 27 times my hand cramped up.

:-)

Happy How to Make a Number 5 Cake-ing!

*Quick Tip – For crumb-free icing, I recommend freezing your cakes first.  Go HERE for a simple step-by-step guide.*