Earlier in the year the Happy Buddy’s teacher came to us and expressed some concern about our son’s fine motor and speech skills.
He was having trouble holding a pencil, writing, sitting in a position that didn’t look like a contortionist, and pronouncing 98% of the letters in the alphabet.
She recommended therapy.
I guess I sort of went into denial about that statement because it felt like all my therapy eggs were in the Happy Baby’s basket – if that makes any sense whatsoever.
So I brushed it off and sort of just thought it would get better with time.
Then May came and his teacher asked to meet with us again to discuss the Happy Buddy’s progress.
And I knew what was coming.
I knew we were going to be encouraged to keep our boy in preschool one more year.
At first we were a little bummed because I knew how excited the Happy Buddy was about going to kindergarten across the street at the ‘big kid school’.
But then the more we thought about it, the more we realized how great it was going to be to not have all that big kid school pressure (I hear there’s homework over there. And spelling tests. And toilets that were designed for actual people instead of elves. And possibly no more Show-and-Tell.).
He’d get another year to play in pretend kitchens and sand tables.
He’d get another year to mature socially (which is a nicer way of saying that he needs to learn to keep his hands to himself and stop throwing mulch at the girls on the playground).
He’d get the chance to be the oldest in the class instead of the youngest.
He’s get another year of pasting and cutting and working with pencils.
He’d get another year to just have fun and be a little kid.
We parents are always in such a hurry to get our kid to the next milestone.
And it seems that the Lord is constantly teaching me to stop obsessing over the milestones and embrace my children for who He created them to be.
And they were definitely created to be on something a little different than all those national averages.
WHICH IS PERFECTLY OK.
Besides, it’s one more year where my little boy gets to live under my roof where we do glow stick baths and family dance parties and Crash Piles and Jesus Kisses and brownie baking and GRACE and forgiveness and kindness and love before he graduates high school and ventures off into the world.
And to this mama, that sounds like a pretty sweet deal.
– Julie 🙂
We too got an extra year with our third born, one of the hardest things we had to do but it was the best for him, it was the year that he grew the most in school, became more confident in who he was, from youngest to the oldest and yep just like you we get him home one more year, instead of going him going to be a junior this year, we would have been getting ready for him to graduate next year. I am thankful.
Liz – that is so encouraging! Thank you!
We too got to keep our third born back one year, it was one of the hardest things we have done but was a good thing for him. It was the year that he grew the fastest in school, he became more confident in who he was, and went from the youngest to the oldest in his class. Just like you we are able to have him one more year, instead of being a junior this coming year, we would be planning his graduation at the end of the year, I am thankful.
what is the hurry why do people put such big head trips on little people just love him and let him play please don’t be so hard on yourselfs I over heard two teachers talking a bout a 5 year being immature I was a lunchlady I toldem hes suppose to immature he 5years old I didn’t get a good look so just have fun and go gaa gaa him my daughter is 33 she still like to be snuggled and you know what its okay cause growing up is scarry thanks cindy lou
I l-o-v-e EVERYTHING you said in this post as it is OKAY to let your son have another year to develop and just be a kid. I too feel like we are bombarded with an idea that children should be meeting all these milestones set by God knows who! It’s wonderful how you’ve found all the positive reasons staying in preschool is GREAT for your son.
Thanks, Tanesha! Those milestones! 🙂
Thanks for “keeping it real” like always. Hug him & enjoy him while you can. My youngest just finished elementary school this year & my oldest announced his engagement….where does the time go?
Susan, you must be so excited about your son. I know it’s going to fly by. You’re a great mom!
My daughter was born september 8, which means we missed the cutoff date by one week to start big school. I too was worried, but now that my daughter will be a junior next year it has been great. She was the first one to turn 16 drive and get a car, Pretty cool! She will also be almost 19 when she leaves me to go to college, much more responsible hopefully!
Chrisy, you are SUCH a great mom. I know your daughter is blessed to have had an extra year with you. 🙂
Mom son had a late august birthday. We decided to hold him back as well. It was another year. He will be going onto second grade and it we never doubt ou decision. I taught kindergarten and I knew all the demands too. I don’t think you will ever regret it. Especially when they do start school it flies by!
Yvonne, awesome to know that you never doubted your decision! Thank you!
I went to two years of preschool for social issues. It was okay. You have a great attitude, Julie. I admire you.
Thank you, sweet Amanda!!!!
Lots of siblings both need therapy. It would be so nice if every kiddo could get some OT and Speech therapy, it’s such a usefull thing to help them grow. Good luck with your extra time…I’m savoring every moment til my 3 y.o. goes to kindergarten!
Kristen, I am in agreement with this!
Again…we had May do the same thing ! It became his year to be top dog in the class and develop friendships that are still his closest ones today! The Lord will bless this decision! As I shared with Ryan, I just bet that y’all will have a “speaker of men” as Carter explained to some children in carpool as to why his brother was in therapy to “learn “to talk! Xo
Shelby, I adore you!!!! Thank you for all your sweet encouragement. xoxo
You’ll be happy when he’s a teen too. I was the youngest in my grade and you tend to grow up a little faster than you “should” because your peers have a very important extra year under their belts that you don’t have. I am especially thrilled that my November daughter is one of the oldest in her class. My June son one of the youngest but so far so good. It has definitely worked out developmentally so far but I wanted to throw the social teen “pro” in there for you too.
Thank you, Merrie Beth! This was great advice! Thank you! And I am so happy that I got to teach your two precious, perfectly perfect kiddos.
Wise parents you are! Boys so often need more time developing, truly they do. I mean how many of us (wives) are married to older men. Boys will be boys, its our patients that is tested, A LOT!
Ryall – I have heard that to be true! We will continue to be patient! 🙂
Hi Julie! I love your blog and I love this post! We are keeping our daughter in another year of Kindergarten this year- this year going to the BIG school for full day- last year she was doing half days at a church school. And I love the idea of having one more year. A year to mature academically and socially but more importantly another year to foster and influence her love for the Lord. Like you, I am so happy to have my little girl stay little for one more year. Thanks for your great thoughts on family and God in your posts. You are a blessing to many!
Jennifer, thank you so much for this kind comment. I’m so happy that we are walking this same journey!
I was the oldest in my class because my birthday fell 7 days after the deadline. I don’t regret it at all! We didn’t have kindergarten so I was able to just be a kid for even longer. Society is pushing kids to grow up too fast and I believe that is part of the reason so many adults are having trouble. God didn’t design us to be miniature adults, he designed us to be kids and mature in His timing.
Deb- AMEN! 🙂
Our oldest (who is now 16) stayed in pre-school an extra year as well and it was one of the best things we’ve ever done for him! He’s now in 10th grade and getting an A- average in the academic program (university-stream)! I had to keep reminding myself that it’s cool to be the oldest, tallest, etc. when you’re a kid and he just needed a little more time to get the hang of things …
University-stream?! Wahoo! That is amazing! Thanks for your encouragement.
I have taught kindergarten for 15 years and I have NEVER heard a parent say they regret an extra year of school! You made a good decision. 🙂
Allison, this is GREAT encouragement. Thank you!
I love your attitude.
Sweet Jenny… I love your comment! Thank you!
as a former teacher I applaud you for being brave enough not go with the flow and instead do what’s best for your kiddo. Each year at the beginning of kindergarten I had so many babies who could’ve used another bit of time to grow & mature & at the end of kindergarten they were so NOT ready to head to 1st grade & parents rarely listen to the teachers that they have entrusted their children to for the whole school year..so Kuddoes to you..Brave Mom & dad, may your boy have the best year ever. God Bless.
Maria, thanks for leaving this important comment. 🙂
We did the same with my now 10th grader. Best decision ever. We have no regrets. And now that our time is even more precious with him that extra year is priceless.
Kris, I love your mama’s heart. Thank you for telling me this!
You are the best Julie! What an inspirational message. I wish all parents who have a child exhibiting some delays could read this. Happy Buddy and Happy Baby are so blessed to have you as a Momma!
Jennifer – how sweet are you?! Thank you for writing to me today! xoxo
Love it! You have the best perspective, Julie. 🙂 you truly make me want to be a better mom! Love, your fan, Ellen
Sent from my iPad
Thank you, my dear Ellen! I am a fan of YOU!
Way to go mama!! You will be thankful you did as well as your teacher. Teaching kindergarten this year, there were some kids that would’ve benefited from one more year of preschool – a lot more maturity wise. My youngest is finishing kindergarten tomorrow. My hubby wanted her to skip kindergarten and go to first or skip preschool and go to kindergarten. I am one of those parents – why rush to make them grow up!! First of all, she is dominating now in sports (she is very tall for her age and mature, thus one of the reasons my hubby wanted her moved up. But I have enjoyed tremendously, and will never get back, those preschool days last year and the hour differences that I got to spend with her extra this year while waiting for her sisters to get out of school. Just that quality time that her and I got. Once they are in the big grades, life is all about extracurricular activities (even if you try not to over schedule them). My daughters only do one sport a season and I still feel like I don’t get that down time with them. So yes – rejoice and enjoy in this extra time with your happy buddy!! Thank you for your blog. The honesty and outlook is always refreshing.
Thank you, Deanna. I love that you got an extra year with your daughter at home. 🙂
Well said, sweet sister! I am doing PreK with Cayden again too. Excited about what God is doing!
Veronica, awesome. 🙂
My middle is 13 years old and struggles in school. I wish every single day we had addressed her situation back in kindergarten or before and held her back then. You’re doing the right thing!
Jodi – don’t have regrets, sweet sister! The Lord is in everything. 🙂 He will lead your every step and will be with your daughter. I’m so sorry it has been a challenge… Parenting is no joke!!! Psalm 25:10.
You are a wise, young mom! Enjoy the time with your babies. It goes so fast!
Thank you, Darla! I will definitely do that. :-))))
You will never regret giving him a “bonus” year in preschool. Both my boys enjoyed that extra time to grow and mature. We think it’s all about Kindergarten, but think about going into Middle & High school. So much easier to be older and ready for the challenges then. Good luck and enjoy. My little guys are now in High school and Graduate school !
Julie – it’s only a matter of time, I know! They grow so fast. Thank you for these encouraging words!
We had the same situation and gave our son the extra year to get ready. Best gift you can give!
Beth, it IS a gift, isn’t it??? Thank you!
I teach preschool and I know each child develops differently. I have seen my youngest be the most advanced but sometimes they are struggling to keep up. It is better to hold them back now and not see them struggle when they get to school and possibly be held back in a few years.
Sandi – yes! Every child is different and unique and unbelievably special.
Good idea to keep him back. Moved my son on and he paid for it his entire school life. Worst mistake for him. You know him and you will make the right decision. My best to you and your family Kris
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Thank you, Kris… We’ve been praying a lot about this!
Aiden will be repeating kindergarten also. He needs it but he has come a long way and he has a really great teacher!
Having a great teacher is SO important and SUCH a blessing!! We have felt the same way! :-)))
You will never regret that. We held our son back from starting Kindergarten – he did not attend any preschool type programs. He was 6 when he started. When he graduated he had turned 19. He had been apart of a wonderful class of highly motivated kids. Several had been held back as he was. All those boys were such leaders and ready to head out after graduation. Now those young men are in their 30’s and doing fabulously well. It has so much to do with emotional maturity and if yours is a good home, that is where they will best get that. I remember the Kindergarten teacher saying she liked to see the older boys come. Some children need the early school starts if they are not getting the stimulation and learning small motor skills – coloring, cutting at home and sadly there are many who are not. I am always so sad to hear kids say they don’t have any colors at home to finish a project. They cost so little and yet do so much. They make great gifts!!
Wow, Kris! What a great testimony! Thank you!
My son has a summer birthday and we did the same thing. We just felt he needed another year to mature. And I felt better about the fact that he would be the oldest instead of the youngest. He is going into second grade next year and we never have regretted our decision. We have no doubts now that he is ready each year for what he will need to do. But it was a hard decision at the time, particularly because he has a cousin who is a week apart from him who did go into kindergarten the year we held him. It can be hard to go against “what everybody else is doing” but just trust that you know your little guy the best and know what is best for him. Plus another year of preschool fun…Yey!
Sounds like your decision was hard to make but I am so thankful that you said you had no regrets. You encouraged me today!!!
As an early childhood educator and preschool director, I so love reading all of the “This was the best decision we ever made” and “We’ve never regretted it” comments from other parents who have given their child this “gift of time”. Hallelujah! It encourages me to have the hard conversations with parents and try to say on behalf of their little ones what might be best for them. Thanks for posting this, Julie!
Barb, you are the best preschool director EVER.
This is absolutely beautiful and encouraging. Thank you for sharing. As a mom to a one year old who is not walking yet, I love the scripture that you mentioned- “He has made everything beautiful in its time…” Ecclesiastes 3:11. You’re right, there is always so much pressure to get them to the next level or milestone, but it will come when it is time. The faster that we rush through these moments looking for the next thing, the less we get to enjoy the ‘now’. I’ve learned to appreciate and enjoy EVERY moment. We need to remember this as parents and stop comparing our children to others. We are all unique and made in His image and likeness so we (and our children) will always be blessed!
May you all enjoy “Another Year”. God bless.
Marie – beautifully said! Learning to enjoy EVERY moment is such a precious gift indeed. I strive for that every day!
Sometimes the best gift we can give our children is time. School is so high pressure now (especially for the younger ones).
Beth, I couldn’t agree more! Sometimes I think middle schoolers just really want to play with some Play-Doh and have circle time. 🙂
Julie, I remember the same conversation when my son was at the exact same school as the Happy Buddy. I resisted initially…in fact, I resisted for seven years! He “reclassified” in 7th grade and is now one of the oldest in his class. Although he’s doing well now, the benefit of that extra year would have been easier when he was in pre-k. Enjoy the extra year of pre-k fun!
Karyn, you are sweet to so humbly share your story. 🙂 You are a great mom who clearly wants what is best for her buddy!
You have a wonderful attitude in life. I love getting your emails. Good luck to happy buddy!
Thank you, Bev! I love writing them and I so love knowing that sweet people like you are enjoying them. Thank you for commenting today. xoxo
It is amazing how much they grow by leaps and bounds through the pre-K to 3rd grade unfortunately, the teaching of these fast and slow learners and different learners are still not segregated better to allow these children better learning skills and less pressure. I actually think the testing has made it worse.
Smart! My sons bday was ten days AFTER the cutoff so I had to hold him back…but I would’ve anyway! Best decision ever. Instead of going in behind most of the kids developmentally, he went in knowing more than most and his maturity had improved dramatically that year.
That is GREAT news. Thanks, girl.
A respected teacher where my children attended school and where I taught kindergarten said if a child is not ready for kindergarten, what happens is that when it comes time to graduate the child ends up not being ready for the “world”. From my experience I have seen how this is true. As a dedicated mom that you are, I am sure you will enjoy having him in your nest another year. More time to teach about Jesus too!
Debbie – you couldn’t be more right about having another year to teach him about JEsus! That is the BEST part!
Perfectly written. I teach kindergarten. It is always so sad to see the little ones suffer when parents forge ahead with the start of kindergarten when their child is not quite ready. You are giving your son the wonderful gift of time. Sending you a long distance hug!
Thanks, Andrea. It sounds like you are an amazing, thoughtful and loving teacher!
I just have to say that I love you! I think you are an awesome mom and would love to have a friend like you! I love reading your blog because I am always encouraged by you, your perspective on life, and that you always bring it back to Jesus! Thanks for sharing your life and your journey with Jesus!
Amanda, THANK YOU! I want to be your friend, too! 🙂
Thank you, Amanda!!! I am encouraged by YOU!