When I was in high school I went through a very, very short-lived stage where I found it incredibly thrilling and rebellious to wear a shirt that bared my midriff.
My best friend and I went out one night to a concert and I wore said scandalous top and felt so powerful as guy after guy took note of my belly button.
They probably also took note of the fact that I was the color of paste, had fifteen hundred pimples under my hair-sprayed bangs, and wore high-heeled sneakers that made me stumble every few steps and quickly gunned it in the other direction.
Regardless, it is no secret that God has made women to be lovely and beautiful creatures – even if some of us struggle with our weight, backne, and untamable hair {ahem – me}.
It’s also no secret that men like the way women look and can often struggle in a situation if a woman is anywhere within a 2 mile radius wearing something that exposes a lot of cleavage or thigh or earloabs.
Because my husband says if I wore a potato sack he would STILL be tempted to wonder what I might be wearing under that potato sack.
But while we are not responsible for what a man does in his heart after he has seen something attractive, we are responsible for finding ways to dress that please the Lord.
And when we love the Lord in that way, we love our precious brothers and help them not have to work so dang hard to look away.
It’s super important for you to know that I am not advising y’all to drop your closet of clothes at the nearest thrift store and go buy nun outfits. Christian women can still look adorable and fashionable. Thanks to my mom, I think I look pretty good most of the time.
And before you go thinking I’m somewhat of a prude, you must know that I like to make sure that I save all my scandalous clothes for behind the closed doors of my home with my beloved (wink).
But when I am getting dressed to go to work or church or the supermarket, I usually try to assess the appropriateness of an outfit by asking myself a few questions.
1. Is it too tight?
If you can see the outline of your hoo-ha in it – it’s too tight. The end.
2. Is it too short?
We had an event at our church recently and I complimented a girl on her cute black leggings and she said, “Thanks! When I got into this skirt I realized it was too short so I threw these on.”
Bless her. I could have hugged her for taking the extra time and enduring another layer of clothing in South Florida heat for choosing to dress appropriately.
What a great trick. Short dress or skirt? Leggings. Boom.
I’ve always followed this tip myself because my knees look like they belong to a 90 year old woman. I’m doing EVERYONE a favor by not bringing them out.
But I encourage you not to mistake leggings as a suitable pair of pants. Unless your shirt is long enough to cover your bum, this is generally not a good idea (refer to tip #1).
A few weeks ago I decided that I wanted to lure my husband into bed by squeezing into a super tight pair of leggings. I fed our children, put them to bed and then walked out to the living room and in front of the television where he was sure to see me.
I did my best impression of a sexy purring kitten and bent over to, “Oops!” pick something up and at that point I thought I would have drawn him in hook, line, and sinker, but instead he let out a horrific cry and said, “WHAT IS ALL OVER YOUR BOTTOM?!”
Turns out I had fed our children peanut butter for dinner and had somewhere along the way sat in it.
3. Is it see through?
I always thought of slips as something old ladies wore.
But, I’ve trained myself to think about it because sometimes that cute maxi skirt can reveal a sexy silhouette of curves when hit with the right amount of back light (something I am especially conscious of because I sing on the worship team every week at church where back lighting abounds).
Not to mention if you’re shopping for clothes at places like Wal-Mart (that would be me) then you know the quality/thickness of fabric is not going to be something that Ralph Lauren would be proud of.
Repeat after me – slips are your friend.
And so are camis. There have been plenty of shirts that I have put on only to find that you can see my undergarments through and through. Camis take care of this in a snap. I like these ones from Gap.
4. Will it distract?
I was recently lamenting with some friends about the time in high school when I was about to sing a solo in our Sunday morning church service and some well-meaning deacon thought it was a good idea to drop the air conditioning down to 62 at about the same time I was walking on stage.
At least that’s what it felt like to me and my nips.
Yes, you heard me. This was the last time I was EVER caught walking around without a padded bra.
I highly doubt anyone was able to enter into worship with all the activity going on under my shirt.
5. What are my motives with this outfit?
Romans 13:14 says, “But be like the Lord Jesus Christ, so that when people see what you do, they will see Christ. Don’t think about how to satisfy the desires of your sinful self.”
Often when I am getting dressed to go somewhere I can sense in my spirit the difference between whether I am wearing an outfit because my ‘sinful self’ wants to get noticed or if my heart is full of simply wanting people to see Christ in me (instead of my hot bod).
Which, I humbly admit, is somewhat stretched out and sagging these days.
But that is neither here nor there.
The point is, if you love Jesus, then you will want to honor Him in EVERY area of your life. Including how you dress.
Because really the best way to look awesome is letting His light and love spill out of you instead of your boobs. 🙂
– Julie
“It is not fancy hair, gold jewelry, or fine clothes that should make you beautiful. No, your beauty should come from inside you—the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. That beauty will never disappear. It is worth very much to God.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 (ERV)
**P.S. If you are a nun and reading this, I understand that these days you wear super comfortable and conservative clothing much like I am encouraging us all to do in this post. When I wrote the title for this post, I was thinking along the lines of Sister Act. Thank you for setting such a great example for us! Xoxo**
I love this: “Let His light spill out of you. Not your boobs.” 😀
You are too sweet… and FUNNY! Thanks for the post. They always make me smile.
Thank you for this post! It had me giggling but nodding in agreement! Loved it!
Loved this post and the message. I want to know where you got your cute top? I find modest clothing are hard to find.
Well done, Julie. Truth and humor — such a good combo! I would add — consider what your outfit reveals when you bend and lean and reach. The top that looks modest when you stand in front of the mirror can be anything but that when you go about your real life activities.
I don’t usually comment but this time I had to. You crack me up- I was laughing and agreeing whole heartedly the whole time. Well said! 😉
I almost wet my pants from laughing when I got to the peanut butter leggings incident!!
GREAT post!!!! I think about this topic very very often. Even more so now that my four year old daughter wishes to be just like me in every way. I’m trying to teach her through my own appearance that modest is hottest!
Also, have you ever heard of Mod Bod undershirts? They’re my absolute favourite, really great coverage 🙂
You rock! I so appreciate your heart for
Jesus & your love for your hubby & your
humor. Thanks for sharing your real life
with us & for encouraging us to be
intentional with what’s important & for
keeping things simple & fun!! I would
love to know you in real life: ). Hugs!!
Thank you, KAte… Your words really encouraged me today.
I just found your blog recently and am so glad I did! I love this post and completely agree with it. Love it 🙂
Kylie, thank you!!! I will have to pop over and check out your page!!! xoxo
Thank you(!) for taking the time to write this. I will definitely pass it on!
Omg! Love, love, love this post! Gonna pass on to every girl I know. May God keep inspiring you. Xoxoxox
Thank you, Francis! xoxo
My 24 year old daughter is a nun. She dresses in shorts, sneakers, tee shirts and wears pony tails. She wears skirts or dress pants, blouses and nice shoes to her job. She wears sweatpants and sweatshirts to lounge or play in. I think some nuns get a bad rap when it comes to their fashion sense which is too bad because the ones I know are very fashionable!.
I didn’t take offense at the “nun” title, but I do appreciate religious sisters who wear a habit instead of contemporary dress. They’re honoring God through a witness that makes others think of Him just by being seen. No words even necessary, but of course many questions and hopefully insights happen soon after.
I didn’t take offense at the “nun” title, but I do appreciate religious sisters who wear a habit instead of contemporary dress. They’re honoring God through a witness that makes others think of Him just by being seen. No words are even necessary, but of course many questions and hopefully insights happen soon after.
This is so awesome! Your posts are always full of Godly truth and humor…love you and your blog!
LOVE this, Julie–oh so much!
“The best way to look awesome is letting His light and love spill out of you instead of your boobs.” This is the best sentence I’ve ever read. I need you to go shopping with me! I want to look cute and get out of my maternity clothes. :/
Mary, you are too sweet! I’d love to go shopping with you!!! 🙂 Any excuse, right?!?!? Thanks for stopping by!
my name isn’t important…what is…is that I couldn’t stop laughing as I read farther and farther
into you blog…as true as this might be…as I’m a man….and not a young man either…so the
temptations of the flesh I have seen many a time over my years….won’t say that I never looked…
won’t say that…I never enjoyed…but there was something very lady like about the well written
and right to the point…pull no punches blog….yet still had an air about it that…that there is a way to dress and still draw your man to you and be decent yet have that appeal…without bearing the flesh….
thank you so much
look out for the A/C
Terrific post, Julie! Funny and real, yet you get an important message across very clearly.
Oh good! This is my favorite post of yours to date. Funny, interesting, and helpful to the greater population. If only the world subscribed to your blog.
Thank you, Valerie!
I wish more people thought like you and respected themselves enough to be modest. Great post!
Where did you buy those pants?? So cute!
Hey Laura! I got those at a Gap outlet in December! I love them so much!!! Thanks for stopping by!
Excellent post!
I totally agree with all that you said, and having a sense of humor about it is essential. I just wish there were a way to teach this to our Tweens and teens NOW 🙂
Julie…I love your blog and wanted to make sure you knew the Ad at the bottom of this post (by Gravity) is totally inappropriate…something about sex tapes. I knew you wouldn’t approve.
Thank you, Shawn. It stinks because I have NO idea and NO control over those ads… I will look into this!
SLIPS! This is what I’ve been trying to say for years! No one thinks a slip is necessary anymore. THANK YOU for your thoughts. Now I hope others will listen. (PS. You are very funny!)
wow. just happened upon your blog from another site and so thrilled to find it! LOVED this article. I shared it with my 15yr old daughter. We do our best but this is a great reminder. Thank you for sharing!
I really enjoy reading ur posts.Its quiet inspirational n most of the time it captivates me coz there’s a lot of truth in what u say.You say it so brazenly n I really like that.God bless u
Yes, it seems that I enjoy winter months better because most of the clothes for our 10-18 year old’s seem to cover most of them up..During the summer though I wonder how in the world those clothes made it into the store For KIDS and then who is the parent that thinks it is okay to have their child mistaken for a street walker..And then there is the people like LULA a character from Stephanie Plum book series by Janet Evanovich that believes spandex is everyday wear ..To be fair I love the character of Lula but in reality it would be a unique experience.To me teaching your child that the way they dress, act and carry themselves affects how people perceive them and teaching them about self love and respect plus you can always look cute..in fashion without looking as if you charge per hour for someones company..Right?
Hi I enjoyed reading your blog . It made me laugh and smile. I am going through the stage of finding decent clothing to wear to church and out in public . I am a plus size . There are clothing that make you look and feel like you’re old or thin knit material, loud flowery designs or prints that leap off the frabic Make u dizzy. I find tops these days have huge under arm holes or fall off shoulders . I know sweaters . I like clothing of days pass that were made of cotton and appropriate to wear. Sorry for going Ono and on. ☺
Thank you so much for this! I am always working hard on the way I present myself in public
Well you have just given me a side stitch from reading this post! Oh how I wish I could get all the ladies, young and old, in our congregation (and supermarket, school system, food establishment, etc) to read this! Each and every point is a little nugget of wisdom so needed in today’s society. I am 50+ years old and am just embracing the whole legging thing. I was trying some on this week when my husband walked in the bedroom. Needless to say he was quite impressed. I then explained they were not for his enjoyment but to be worn under some of my skirts. He said he had not noticed some ladies at church wearing them,,,,yeah right! We all know men are visual beings. As a mother of two sons, now grown, I have always been very aware of modesty. I so appreciate your wisdom. Keep up the good work! You are a blessing to all of us!
Thank you for your encouragement, Sally!