A few weeks ago the boys asked if they could go on the playground after church.
I was less than excited about the idea because after a morning of early worship team rehearsal, 2 services, fellowship, and a giant bagel, I am ready to go home and start what you’re supposed to be doing on Sunday (which, as my children do not seem to comprehend, is rest).
But I did it anyway because I love my kids and love to bless them.
(And because my one word is Jesus and I thought it would be appropriate to once again die to myself and lay down my immediate desire to put on sweatpants and crawl into bed.)
After about 15 minutes, I gave the smart-parenting 5 minutes left announcement and even reminded the boys how they needed to leave the playground quickly and happily when it was time to go.
Fast forward 5 minutes and Happy Baby is hiding up at the top of the playground structure because he doesn’t want to go home and Happy Buddy is weeping hysterically because our leaving was going to interrupt his progress on mastering the monkey bars.
Did I mention that there were lots of other people on the playground?
Did I mention that the hubs is a pastor at our church and therefore I sometimes feel this unwritten expectation that I need to have my ‘stuff’ together? Stuff being that my children should listen and obey me?
Ahhhh, no. I had to climb up the playground equipment to pry off a tantrum-throwing toddler’s fingers from the death grip he had on the bars (only to discover after climbing back down that he had also taken his shoes off in protest and left them at the top). Then Happy Buddy, who is given to unrecoverable fits of emotion, was sobbing and ranting about how he never even made it to the swings.
And then he tripped and fell.
The innocent bystanders were probably wondering if my children needed therapy.
What’s funny is I was thinking that I needed therapy.
As I wrangled my emotionally turbulent crew into their carseats, I may have been a touch angry.
My pride had been hurt. I had been embarrassed by the circus act that was our departure. I was mad that my boys chose to throw fits instead of be grateful as I had CLEARLY sacrificed a lot so that they could have a good time.
Tight lipped and upset I jammed the keys into the ignition and started the 35 minute drive home.
The boys were now quiet in the backseat and I knew they could sense the tension.
After about 5 minutes, I could hear Happy Buddy sniffling. Then he quietly spoke into the silence, “Mommy, I’m so sorry for throwing a fit at the park.”
Then Happy Baby echoing softy, “Saw-wee, Mommy.”
The wounds I was nursing and the anger I was seething melted away and I thought what truer words than those written in Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath.”
And as we verbally forgave one another and declared, “It is finished,” I was struck by something.
I was glad that my kids weren’t perfect.
Because if they were perfect then they wouldn’t learn to respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
If they were perfect then they wouldn’t learn repentance.
If they were perfect then they wouldn’t have opportunities to experience love through forgiveness.
If they were perfect then I might be tempted to pridefully think that their obedience was because of something I was doing right as their mama.
If they were perfect then we all wouldn’t learn to depend so wholeheartedly on our blessed Savior.
So next time your child is kicking and screaming on the ground in Target or running around the sanctuary after church like a wild man, instead of saying, “He’s not mine,” thank God for another opportunity to point your little ones to the wonderfully redeeming work of Christ.
– Julie 🙂
“The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.” Psalm 51:17
Francis
January 18, 2015 at 8:39 amThank you so much for this post. Blessings to you and your sweet family.
laurie
January 18, 2015 at 8:55 amyou know what I got from this? the silence in the car. I would’ve been scolding, reprimanding, etc…not giving my children the chance to do what is right and apologize. Thanks for the reminder – sometimes silence is the best teacher 🙂
Mia
January 22, 2015 at 11:45 amI was just thinking the same thing!
Vicki
January 18, 2015 at 10:50 amPraise God and amen! That’s awesome Julie! God I good all the time and I thank Him for always working to compete the good work he started in us! Thank you for testifying to Gods redeemption in you and your family! It brings much praise and glory to his name! Exodus 9:16 But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth.
theyellowgiraffegirl
January 18, 2015 at 2:09 pmLove, Love, Love! Thank you for this awesome reminder! 🙂
Mary Jo
January 18, 2015 at 5:58 pmNice! Love this.
Holly
January 18, 2015 at 9:40 pmLoved the post! Isn’t that true? Through our faults and short comings , we experience Gods grace and forgiveness. What a gift we can give and demonstrate to our own children!
Michelle
January 20, 2015 at 9:14 amI have older children twin boys 11 years old and still I thank you for this post. I would also as on lady said been scolding and not quietly telling them how unhappy I was with their behavior etc. Thank you for this post.
Luz
January 20, 2015 at 4:22 pmThis was an awesome post. Thank you so much for sharing! God bless you as you continue this journey of motherhood.
Katrina
January 20, 2015 at 6:31 pmThat was such an encouragement to me! Thank you for your post!
Miranda
January 21, 2015 at 1:43 pmI have to admit, I clicked on this post thinking, “Wow, this mom’s got it all wrong. I bet she wants her kids to show indepence or something crazy so obedience isn’t important.” (By the way, I’m all for independence AND obedience ;-)) I am so happy I was wrong. This is a great post and a great reminder that even we as parents aren’t perfect, and we can use these moments to point our children to the cross. Thanks for the lesson 🙂
zekesmom10
January 21, 2015 at 4:55 pmIt seems like I have not read your blog in a surprisingly long time. I’m glad I did read it today.
John and Jenn
January 22, 2015 at 2:45 amWhat a beautiful post! I (Jenn) am also a worship pastor’s wife and can relate to you on many of your posts, but this has blessed my heart and I will cherish it and remember it for “one of those days”.
Judith
January 22, 2015 at 2:56 amWow.. Thank you.. I confess that I too would be angry and scold them… And lately that has been my attitude… Going through Postpartum Depression.. With lack of sleep and kids always fighting.. God please forgive me., Change my heart., give me more love for you so that I can love my husband and children more. Thank you for this post.
Lynda
January 22, 2015 at 11:45 pmMay God bless all mothers, young mothers and older mothers. This post is a blessing and it reminds me that we all need and are strengthened by Godly community, Godly sharing. God’s spirit shared in all its many different methods brings encouragement, support and guidance.
God bless the sharing of His graces.
Anni
January 23, 2015 at 9:03 amThank you! I don’t know where I heard it, but many years ago, I heard that my one and only job as a mother was to point my children to Jesus at every opportunity. I prayed that God would give me the wisdom to see those opportunities and the grace to do it well. I’m a few years further down the road than you (my two girls are 14 and 11), but I’m happy to look back and see all the times we didn’t display our perfection, and instead God answered my prayers for opportunities and grace. Just last week, I sat on the couch with a sullen daughter, pleading with her, telling her that the only way she would solve this particular problem was to look to Jesus. I know I’ve missed **many** opportunities, and I know for sure I failed miserably at the grace part. But I love looking back and seeing all the times He did get my attention. I pray for many more to come! Blessings on you!
Heather
January 23, 2015 at 1:16 pmGreat read. Thanks for sharing!
Joyfulmomof6
January 31, 2015 at 9:55 pm“If they were perfect then we all wouldn’t learn to depend so wholeheartedly on our blessed Savior.” I love that. This is a great post. I am a homeschooling mom of 6 children, two of whom are special needs (autism/adhd and adhd/anxiety). Remaining calm is a MUST because they can’t regulate themselves. This is not something I was born with (I used to be the exact opposite!), but something the holy spirit has done in me. These two children (especially) have kept me on my knees every day, and I thank God for that- that’s where I need to be anyway!
I can’t imagine the pressure you feel as a Pastor’s wife, BTW.
I have grown in humility because of how my children act up public! Sometimes people have been so rude because my special needs kids look “normal” and therefore bratty and it just looks like I’m a bad parent. I’ve learned not to let that bother me.
Blessings,
Nanci