**DISCLAIMER – Please know my heart in writing this post was not to make anyone feel bad or even to find my own healing at another person’s expense. The goal of my blog has been (and always will be) to be grateful for the circumstances life hands me and praise God for them (even if they weren’t what I had in mind). So, sweet reader, thanks for stopping by and I pray that this post gives you a fresh and light-hearted perspective on whatever journey God has you on. Xoxo**
I had a dream that I would give birth naturally.
I was going to do the whole thing with no medication.
I wanted the pain.
I wanted the nurses to yell at me during contractions.
I wanted to hear the doctor shouting, “I see the head!”
I wanted that feeling of sweet victory in the end.
But God had other plans (which you can read more about HERE).
So I surrendered every single one of my wants at His feet, knowing that His way is always better.
We had our first required C-section on July 3, 2009.
As the years passed and with a second (somewhat traumatic) C-section, even though I know God is so, so good and I know that His plans are way higher and way greater than mine, I have still found the whole thing to be a bit of a struggle in my life.
The problem is that my flesh crawls with jealousy whenever one of my friends ends up with a perfect labor and perfect delivery and perfect baby.
And it really wrecks me if I know someone who has had a successful VBAC.
In my deepest, most ugliest parts, I sometimes hope that everyone will end up with a C-section just so that I can feel better about my own.
**I know. You probably don’t want to read my blog anymore because now you know how awful I am!**
These thoughts of mine are not okay, people, and it is my responsibility to take them and capture them for Christ – to replace them with thoughts of gratitude and other ‘excellent, noble, and praiseworthy’ things (Philippians 4:8).
It is my heart’s desire is to give these sins over to God and to truly, truly find joy and contentment and healing and freedom in the story that He has written for me.
This post is an effort to do that.
And I hope it gives you a good giggle, too. 🙂
Because today I am listing 11 awesome reasons why I think my required C-sections were pretty great.
Reason #11 – You have a plan.
This is so helpful for all us control freaks. You know what to expect and when to expect it. None of this baby’s-coming-in-the-backseat-of-the-car drama or waiting-around-playing-every-board-game-in-your-house business. When people ask when your baby is due, you can respond with a confident smile and a precise date of arrival.
Reason #10 – You can look gorgeous for photos.
I loved that I could wake up on the morning of my surgery and put on a full face of make-up, knowing that it wouldn’t get messed up during delivery. Sparkly eye shadow was a must!
Reason #9 – You don’t poop yourself on the delivery table.
I hear this happens to some women when it comes time to push. C-sections are much more dignified (if you don’t mind your organs being passed around – lol!).
Reason #8 – You get to pick your child’s birthday.
This was so fun. We ended up being able to pick April 3rd for the Happy Baby so that both of our kids were born on the 3rd. Easy to remember – which is good for me because I feel like each of my babies took a bit of my brain with them when they came out (and this does not speak well of how much of a brain I began with).
Reason #7 – You are guaranteed no pain during the event.
Not exactly the way it was when Eve was doing it, but think of it this way – Jesus came to release us from the curse. Let the medicine be a reminder of that grace. 🙂 But if you’re still wanting to be a hero, just go home without your pain meds.
Reason #6 – The scar turns your whole upper body into a giant smiley face.
Think about it… The scar is the smile… Your belly button is the nose… Albeit a saggy smile (as in my case because I exclusively pumped for 14 months), but It’s a happy reminder whenever I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
Reason #5 – You have a really easy explanation of where babies come from without getting into the birds and the bees with your toddler.
Because I never do ANYTHING without a little person on my heals, the Happy Buddy has seen my scar on occasion and has asked about it. It is pretty cool that I can tell him, “That is where you came out of my tummy, cutie-patootie! Now may I please use the potty in peace?!” 🙂
Reason #4 – Your baby’s head won’t look like a football.
I hear babies born vaginally look kind of like a cone-head in the beginning. Your baby gets to skip that part and go straight to rockin’ his perfectly-shaped skull.
Reason #3 – You have an awesome reason to get a good wax job.
Hey, I’m just sayin’. If everyone and their brother is going to be seeing your hoo-ha in the OR, you better clean it up a bit (plus, they hand you a razor when you get to the hospital, so thinking ahead is a real timesaver).
Reason #2 – You don’t have to worry about urinary incontinence.
I hear that once you’ve pushed out a few babies the muscles down there can get a bit relaxed and therefore interfere with normal functions like peeing. If you have a C-section, you never have to worry that the joke someone told in the break room is going to render you wet for the rest of the afternoon. Go jump on that trampoline with your Happy Buddies! No diapers for you, lady!
And the #1 reason I loved having a C-section is…
Your hubs is thankful for the preservation of your lady parts! {Wink wink!}
BWAHAHAHAHA!
(Totally kidding on that, but it is a major bonus – lol.)
I am NOT trying to convince you to have a C-section. C-sections are major, super serious surgery and if I had had a choice (as I said at the beginning of this post), I would have TOTALLY embraced urinary incontinence and Kegels and pooping on a delivery table to have my babies naturally (although considering the way I handle a headache, I would have probably been begging for an epidural at the first contraction).
But these are my birthing stories and my heart wants to glorify God with them no matter what.
I want to be thankful for what He did instead of grumbly for what He didn’t.
I want to be obedient to His will, not mine.
I want to walk in joy knowing that I did what God wanted – and I have a giant smiley on my torso to keep that perspective.
Happy C-section-ing! 🙂
Thank you so much for this. I have so often felt the same way. The jealousy when others have a natural birth. My first baby was an emergency csection at 26 weeks and I have since had two more csections and my heart has been forever broken about it. My grandmother once said to me, not meaning to be hurtful but it was that I will never really know what its like to HAVE a baby because I have only had csections. You were able to make me laugh with this and remember that the whole point of pregnancy is to get a healthy baby by what ever means necessary.
Always enjoying your blogs, this one made me lol many times. God bless!
What a great blog! There is such a defeatist attitude when the nurse comes in to tell you that something has happened and you need a C-section. Thank you for your positive spin. I loved that I knew exactly what to expect after the first one. Freaking a few of my vaginal birth girlfriends out by being able to sit criss cross applesauce 2 days after surgery was sortof fun 😉
Your honesty and wisdom is beautiful and profound!!! Love your sense of humor and grace through every situation God gives you. You are an inspiration.
Thank you for your encouraging words. I am a single mom with a grown up kiddo. All during her growing up years, I hoped for a husband and more kids. I guess God had other plans. But, I am thankful my kiddo was/is happy and healthy. She is going to college and doing well. I am proud of her. God is so good!
P.S. She was a c-section. 🙂
Thank you for this. God is good and I definitely trust Him. I’m due in September and might have to give birth through c-section. This really made me feel better about it all. Thank you!
I love the smiley face reason! I never looked at my scar that way (always as a flaw) so that was not only hilarious but such a good way to look at it. Thanks for the post and I hope it was as helpful for you as it was for the rest of us who have had c-sections. 🙂
Julie, thanks for posting this. I have been struggling with the fact that I had a c-section… Not what I wanted either, but this made me laugh and encouraged me that it’s ok and all part of God’s plan. His way of reminding me, not my will but His be done!
Amen sister!! I had a c-section with our triplets and again with our singleton 18 months later:) no VBAC for me! We picked my grandpa’s birthday for her scheduled c-section! Blesses my mama so! I felt them move, roll and kick as I carried them…THAT was beautiful:)
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Well, I for one want to thank you for making the decisions I made many moons ago seem all that much better. I didn’t get the chance to deliver naturally the 1st time but the second time was my choice. I always get OMG WHY? thats awful!!! The truth is it wasn’t so bad. (the labor well that was a whole other ball game!). Thank you again for putting it in such a good light!! God Bless you and your family!!!
Hey Julie, I did get quite a chuckle out of this one! Your 11 reasons were so good you almost made me wish I had a csections! And on a very non-spiritual note, I’d love to know where you buy your fun glittery eye shadow. It makes me smile and I love the cheerfulness of it all. Thanks for pouring your heart out in your blogs. Although I haven’t written much, you have touched me greatly with the truth of God’s word, his grace, and His love that flows out of you as you share your life with us. I hope to get to MOM in the fall but as a homeschooling mom of three kids living in Weston, I feel like my schedule has become very busy in a wonderful way. Looking forward to your next blog update. Hugs, Caryn Tully
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My friend sent me a link to this post, and it is totally what I needed to here today! I am having a scheduled c-section on Tuesday and have been struggling with the fact that I don’t get to have my natural delivery that I always pictured. This post made me laugh and reminded me that there are definitely some silver linings to all this. Thanks for your honesty, courage, and sharing your experiences!
Hugs,
Kara
Dearest Julie,
It’s Shelby. First let me say how u blessed all of us today by hearing ur sweet voice and seeing that I LOVE YOU LORD SMILE!!!!!!!! My strong sweet silent type hubby said….” I LOVE to hear and see Julie and Ryan worshipping together! That comes from a man with a big heart, a great listener, and few but profound words! AMEN SISTER!!!
On the whole C-Section thing….. right there with ya’….let’s talk 4!!!!!!!!
That needed a line by itself!!!!!!!!! You spoke my heart verse tonight…. 1 Thessalonians :16-18!!! OK… it’s my mantra if you will!:)
The Lord is SOOOOOO awesome and has planned our bodies to be perfect…. and yet we do live in a fallen world! I too wanted nothing less than natural deliveries ( not gonna lie though… when drugs were needed bring them on!!!!) Carter…. 8 hours of labor after water broke…contractions ALWAYS…REALLY ALWAYS 3 minutes apart at the get go…cord wrapped around his neck 3 times…”sliced and diced and passed out while being rushed to OR….(Remember too my Daddy was an OBGYN that delivered more babies in Broward that ever will be or has been..meaning of course he documented this ALL:( on film. UCK!!!!!! AND….. GO YOU GOD….perfect child..ok…so I read and reread Dobson’s STRONG WILLED CHILD…. CC ….spent most of her pregnancy in hospital with premature labor…again … Go YOU GOD…PERFECT…yet HIS plan not mine C-Section. Mason, great pregnancy and yet he had literally ” the downunder coconuts the size of a TWO large oranges…Drs. said NO WAY girl…C- Section AGAIN!!! Then……. Lost one baby…is with the Lord and will be found by us yet again in our Savior’s mist!!!!!:):):)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry… ALWAYS TUGS AT MY HEART!
Brice scheduled for the snip-snip… and we couldn’t do it!!! GOD GAVE US DREW!!!!!!!!!!!
Had to find a new doctor…mine said risk too high… with May they said NO MORE!!!! GOD GAVE US LIFE AGAIN!!!!! Hardest pregnancy EVER!! ALWAYS felt like I had a melon between my legs!! THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING US PHYSICIANS WITH MINDS TO HELP AND HEAL AND TO DO YOUR WILL…EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW THEIR HANDS ARE BEING GUIDED BY THE MASTER PHYSICIAN, BUT BEING FUELED BY THE POWER OF FAITHFUL PRAYERS!!!!!
Life is GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!!! HE GIVES LIFE and when we ACCEPT HIS GIFT,,,, LIFE IS NOW AND FOREVER PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!
Love ya’….
P.S> Just remember where all the “potty stops are along the way to ur kids school… the bladder gets pulled our a lot …DO UR KEGELS!!!!!!!
XOXOXOXO
“FOR AS HIGH AS THE HEAVENS ARE ABOVE THE EARTH,SO GREAT IS HIS LOVE FOR THOSE WHO FEAR HIM; AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST, SO FAR HAS HE REMOVED OUR TRANSGRESSIONS FROM US. AS A FATHER HAS COMPASSION ON HIS CHILDREN,SO THE LORD HAS COMPASSION ON THOSE WHO FEAR HIM.” PSALM 103: 11-13
OH HOW HE LOVES US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a fellow mom with 2 c-sections under her belt as well, loved this post. I was so thrilled to pick #2 date as the unknown made me panicky the first time around…I turned crazy nervous and did not want my husband out of my sight those last few weeks the first time around…I’m sure I was a ton of fun. 😉 precious pictures of you and your sweet newborns!
I LOVE your attitude, Julie. And you DO look gorgeous in those photos!
I love this for so many reasons! Had 2 c-sections myself, and your happy face comment just made my day. I’m a blogger as well, and have loved happy home fairy. Thank you
WOW! Loved it. I ha two C-sections and was not planned but really all in all glad. I do understand that feeling inside that you wanted to have a natural or no surgery, but really by the second time around it was so much better and safer that I was so glad to do a C-section. I actually got my surgeon Sees candy and his staff. Great attitude and blog. God will keep us going. He knows more than us for sure.
I just loved this for many reasons. I had 2 c-sections and your happy face comment made my day! I am a blogger and have loved happy home fairy. Thanks again. Adorable post.
I loved your c section, your sparkly eye shadow, your wonderful family, and your amazing personality, and your very large unable to vbac beautiful child.
I loved reading your list! I, too, had plans of a natural delivery. After 14 hours of labor, God’s plan prevailed, and I had my first of two C-Sections. And yes, it was freaky to hear my husband tell about my organs laying on the OR table! Ugh!
Refreshing. I too had an emergency c-section the 1st time. I felt like less of a woman and a terrible mom. I felt like I failed at the most important privilege a woman gets in life. My 2nd time around I was sure I could do it. As time got closer I was so scared that everything I went through the 1st time would happen again. My Mom was starting chemo as she had just been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer… after my due date came and went I opted for a scheduled c-section. Every time I hear about a successful labor I get a bit sad at what could have been. I appreciate your honest and funny take on a serious subject. Thank you.
U really do look so pretty in your pictures! I had both, 1st was vaginal ( with an epidural) then an emergency c- section with my 2nd. Ugh. I told my husband ” don’t look, do not look over the curtain.” Of course he did when our daughter started crying. I think he is still scarred from the guts on the table image! Lol. Aren’t we blessed to have our children!? Thanks for another great post:)
I’d just like to say that I love reasons for loving elective c sections! I’ve had 2 and am having a 3rd in 15 days (love the exactness!) but had my first son naturally and I can tell you that it was absolutely horrific and I’d never willingly do it again, so don’t feel too hard done by! I got PTSD from it and apparently some women’s bodies just don’t work well with natural birth, and mine’s one of them, and probably so is yours, so I’m just so grateful that c sections are around and available to us or I don’t know where we’d be! I’m with you on totally embracing God’s plan for us!
Do you mean you didn’t have any medicine or do you mean vaginally with medicine?
oh my goodness… #1 had me rollin!! 🙂 LOL Love your heart in this. 🙂
All births that end with a healthy mum and baby are good births.
That is the word missing from your title and I think it adds to the hearts ache of the whole, unexpected, un wanted often emergency,c section experience. BIRTH. We still gave birth to a beautiful baby x
( 20 hours of induced labour then emergency c section, post traumatic stress. 8 years later after every shade of shall we sharnt we, vbac debate and many many tears and feelings of loss, planned c section birth, turned into a Pre eclamsia emergency. Still a blissful almost pain free birth)
This post couldn’t come at a better time for me! I’m scheduled to be induced with my first child tomorrow & I’m extremely anxious on how it’s all going to go. This makes me breathe a little easier 🙂 Thanks!
Love this! I had c-section with my triplets, and I kinda loved that from the get-go, I didn’t have a choice, wouldn’t go through hours of labor, and complications that sometimes happen with natural births. I never even mentioned the word VBAC when I had my singleton either, don’t feel I missed out on a thing! Thank you for this post, too funny!
As always, thank you for your honesty and humor! I had 3 C-sections, with a failed VBAC for number 2 that turned in to an emergency C-section. I finally realized that I did give birth to my boys no matter what. They just used the window instead of the door. 🙂
Four c-sections. We joke that they should have just installed a zipper like a ziplock baggie after the first one!
In the three years between #1 and #2 we had a friend lose a baby in a failed VBAC, so it was never really an option for me to have a “trial of labor”. I wasn’t about to risk that.
And when we were sure we were done having babies, they just disconnected my plumbing as long as they were in there getting baby #4 out. No worry of el’snip snip for DH!
The one thing I regret about having my c-section is I had no pictures of me and my beautiful baby girl after delivery. The first one of us was after recovery. They had to rush me in for a c-section after being induced for almost 2 days. But I’m so glad our doctor cared enough to not take any chances. 🙂 And C-Section babies DO have the most beautiful heads 🙂
Love love love this Julie! As a C-section mamma X4 I totally relate! I love everything you write, but this really spoke to my heart. Thank you!!!
It was difficult for me to be told that I would never deliver naturally. This came right on the heels of getting married and having to have surgery to remove a uterine fibroid. It was devastating news at first – but it was God’s perfect plan for me. It was nice to plan for our parents to be here for Abby’s birth. It was nice to tell my boss when my maternity leave would begin. It was nice to be sure I looked presentable for said pictures! And what about the catheter?! I personally enjoyed not having to get out of bed to use the restroom for 24 hours 😉 Even though I had some complications post C-section, I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant hugging another little baby of my own.
LOVE your blog, Julie! Keep it up. You’re the voice of many mommies out there!!
Jenny McGahey
I was upset when I had to get a c section too, but the end result was the same-my baby in my arms!
Fabulous post, Julie. I have to tell you that vaginal deliveries are only great when you have a perfect labor and delivery. Apparently my body doesn’t believe in either of those things. lol I was always amazed at how much more quickly my friends recovered from their C-sections then I able to recover from a complicated vaginal delivery. Many of us wouldn’t choose our birthing stories, but in the end what matters most is that precious baby in our arms – a gift from God.
Thank you this was a blessing. My c-section was like a death of a dream (that I never considered would die) and it has been a grieving process and has been SO hard.
I would encourage you to let go of this “dream” and realize what’s actually important. Do you have a baby in your arms, a growing child? There are MANY mothers who’d give anything to have any type of delivery that ended with a live child or even a child that lived beyond a couple of years. Sometimes the Lord wants us to have perspective of what’s truly important. The way our babies come into this world is not what’s important, it’s that they come into this world.
You are too cute! I love everything about your writing…you are so real, so authentic, you say it as it is, and are so stinkin’ funny! Thanks for always sharing God’s word and be a Happy Light in this world! Bless you and your Happy Family! PS. I think we would be great friends if we lived closer!
I agree with everything you said! My first was breech, so I didn’t have a choice. For my second, I wanted a VBAC but when I wasn’t going naturally on my own (docs wouldn’t induce with a previous c-section), baby was due on a holiday and my trusted OB was going out of the country for a week…I felt that all those obstacles were Gods way of telling me to have a repeat c-section. And although we get to forgo the pain of labor, I did not think the recovery was easy! I was the only person among my friends to have a c-section and it took me the longest to recover…I was so jealous of how quickly my friends got moving again! I had to have help getting out of bed for the first week and I couldn’t lift my firstborn when I had #2 for several weeks. A c-section is definitely not “the easy way out” like some people say…but, gosh…my kids are worth it!! I will do it again…maybe two more times!! 🙂
You are so funny! I also had to have c-sections…3 to be exact! While there was a small part of me that wished i could give birth naturally; like you, I embrassed all the positives! I think I thought of everyone of those great reasons as well. I also felt like each c section I had, got a little easier. Maybe because I knew what to expect, or what parts (the smell of them sodering) really bothered me, or just the fact that once your nerves are damaged, you tend to feel less and less. I embrassed it all, and never felt like I missed out on a thing! It angers me a bit is when other “mothers” make you feel like you missed true motherhood, because you didn’t push something through your “woohoo”! But to them I always say ….”no matter how a baby arrives in a mothers arms, the end result is the same, unconditional love & happiness!
Great job on focusing on the positives. I have had 6 c-sections, so I smiled through your list. I do say though that I wish #2 was truly a result from delivery and not just pregnancy (kind of like saggy breasts is from pregnancy and has nothing to do with actually nursing), yeah I get to experience that little special “treat”. I’m a lucky girl! LOL My last 2 babies between them and the Lord decided that the date I picked for their birthday was not right and they came sooner! Let me just say that when having a c-section as we know the biggest perk is NOT going through labor, so even a few hours of it stinks, but thankfully I never got too far in, as my dr was on top of getting things stopped and me onto the OR table.
Although I am curious what a vaginal delivery feels like, I’m also kind of glad I’ve never had to feel that “ring of fire”! LOL
I LOVE this. These are literally all of the things I told myself when realizing I’d have a c-section! We have very similar stories and a sense of humor! I love it! Are you on fb?
I’ve had two c-sections. My labor was going so bad that I was just hoping to have my sons come through it ALIVE:) My second went so bad that he did die,they resuscitated him and he spent some time in the intensive care. I now can not have kids because I ended up with an infection due to the C-section.i have had three tubal pregnancies because of it.alot of scar tissue:) now I’m 43 and I’m giving up on having children. I can’t tell you how mad the whole thing has made me.how hurt.how jealous !!! I couldn’t even get the c-section right!!! But then I realize that without it MY TWO BOYS THAT I HAVE WOULD BE DEAD. BACK IN THE NOT SO LONG AGO I WOULD HAVE DIED . That’s the thing to tell yourself. In the past MANY woman died during childbirth .now we and our babies can live:)
Yasha, HOLY COW. You have certainly been through it… My heart goes out to you and breaks with you for all of the pain… But I praise our mighty God for all of the victory! And for the strength He has given you to realize the good that can result from something hard, painful, and difficult. I am simply amazed that your little one was resuscitated back to life… a miracle. Wow. God bless you and thank you for sharing!
Thank-you so much for this. The Lord knows that I needed this. I have struggled with the same thing. I had a Mid-Wife for my first. I did everything to get ger to come but three weeks after I couldn’t take it anymore and went it to be induced. While I was there that morning her little heart rate would drop when I was having little contractions (I didn’t even feel anything) so I had a “planned” C-Section so my Honey could be there too. Then 16 months later my son was born. He too had to be C-Setion cause they were so close. Not at all what I had planned.
I so needed to read your story. Thank-you. I can wait to tell my little girl how wonderful her birth was. That The Lord was so good to me. (And remember we did have labor. It’s not easy having someone pull at your body. Tell that to Moms that are going on and on about “their birthing pain”. :-))
Thank you for sharing your struggles with accepting your c-section………….I pretty much felt the same way. It didn’t help either when I heard “Be glad you didn’t have a “REAL” birthing experience”……….yes, I have heard that! It took me a long time to recover physically from my 3 c-sections, which in my way of thinking took the place of Labor Pain!!! I liked your 10 reasons and it made me think of my experience as a blessing from HIM. Thanks again, you have brightined my day!
Sincerely
Kay Matson
Thank you so much for this! My OB told me that I will most likely need a c-section, and I’ve been very nervous! Reading this has given me some positives to think about, and has helped calm me down a bit! Now maybe I can think about my possible c-section like Pollyanna would!
Kate, may the Lord bless you as you prepare for whatever may come! I love your heart and attitude!
I love the idea of your blog! I spend all of my time, energy, and heart trying to have a happy home and am so glad to find support! You are an excellent example of trying to have true faith as well, and I really appreciate that!
Wow this was so wonderful to read, what an encouragement. I have totally struggled with the same feelings. I had three c-sections. Thanks for your honesty. God Bless.
Aww this is so sweet. Just saw this post via Pinterest. I had a c-section with my first in 2010. I had all those same struggling thoughts and more afterwards. It was really hard on my faith, and I still at times struggle to put my faith back in order because of it. I’m getting there, but its slow. I love that you put this post together. Such a great way to work through it.
C-section mommas are a really big part of my heart now and I love connecting with them.
I actually saw your post today because I just got done writing up a post (which got me searching pinterest) and I’m really hoping this new post with help friends and family of c-section mommas to know how to better care for us as we recover emotionally.
I hope you don’t think I’m trying to spam your blog with a link to my blog. I’m totally not. I just can’t help but link it on here after reading how many of the post-c-section thoughts we had in common.
http://walkingwithdancers.blogspot.com/2013/10/how-to-care-for-woman-whos-had-c-section.html
I’d love to get your input and maybe connect a bit.
Hi! I just wanted to thank you for writing this piece. I have 2 boys, both of which were born via c-section. My oldest was an emergency one & my youngest was mandatory since I had already had one. Since they are only 14 months apart (Irish twins), I didn’t have the option of having a VBAC.
I have been struggling with some serious self-esteem & self-image issues ever since that day & have been trying very hard to act like it doesn’t bother me, but it does… I don’t talk about it with anyone but my husband because I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me or think I am weird for still feeling so bad about it after so long (my boys are 22 & 8 months respectively).
I also have a blog and have tried on multiple times to write about it, but can’t seem to find the strength to do it. Every single time I start typing, I just start crying. I want to release this tension but, for whatever reason, can’t seem to break out of it.
I was just trying one more time to write about it to find some therapeutic release. And, while I was looking for some funny images to attach to the post, I came across your blog. Thank you for being so brave & so honest about those feelings you have/had. I can 100% relate & I am glad (even if it makes me seem like a total jerk LOL) that someone else has/had those same feelings since all of my friends have had vaginal deliveries & I am the only one with a c-section. I feel as though (FINALLY!) I am not alone in this world & feeling like this doesn’t make me a horrible person ☺
Once again, thank you for your kindness, honesty, and fierceness. It has opened up a whole other world for me and completely inspired me to open up about my “issue”.
Lots of love & light to you!! ♥
Elizabeth, you are NOT along. The emotional pain, I have found, hurts less. My children are teens. I rarely think of the fact they were born via c-section any more. It does hurt when my sister, younger by ten years, is having perfect deliveries, but I look at my children and I am thankful they are here and healthy.
It still hurts sometimes. I want to reassure you, you are not alone. Time is a wonderful healer and giver of perspective.
May you be richly blessed as you watch your children grow.
Along should be ALONE (apologies)
Your comments and reasons are funny. I understand the pain of defeat when one has a c-section and you don’t have a ‘story’. I think more women should share about having c-sections because then we wouldn’t feel failure.
My husband reassured me often that I gave him exactly what he had wanted and prayed for, a healthy baby and a healthy wife. That was consolation to a point.
My two c-sections were not planned. I had the unexpected breaking if water with one delivery, I did not pick their birthdays, I had a day of labour with each child and with one I was so exhausted at the end, I couldn’t hold my head up.
They are both teens now. I think often of their arrivals: one’s head was squished against my pelvic bone, the other had the cord wrapped around their next a few times, both my children are here. Despite my pride. God has made c-sections possible, He has granted wisdom to doctors, and resources to us living in North America. I am thankful to him for these things.
Ladies, our bodies do strange and wondrous things, because God created us this way. I hope you were encouraged by this lady’s post. You have babies, perhaps delivered by c-section, but certainly knitted together by the Almighty and powerful Creator God.
My husband and I will be having out twin future warriors for the Kingdom on Dec 27. Twin A had been breech since somewherr around 30 weeks. The nurse called yesterday with the details of the planned c-section yesterday. I cried the entire way home, then in the arms of my husband, then the whole time I read Hebrews 12 and then some more. I understand that my plan was a thick disguise for the pride that was, and still is, in my heart. Here is what The Lord has shown me and I am certain confirms with this post: I have done absolutely nothing to deserve or in any way merit the blessings of two babies that He has given me. I wanted to labor as if I could earn them. They aren’t mine to begin with but are the Lord’s. other posts say that you still work for your babies in a c section but even though we call it labor, we still never merit the blessings of children. They are only a gift not a wage! And they aren’t ours but His!
Thank you for your post! I am getting ready to have my third c-section and am starting to get really nervous. My second one was a horribly painful experience and so I m slightly scared to death. Reading your positive side to everything was uplifting and so thank you! 🙂
Just found your post on Pinterest and am less than 4 weeks from my third c/s. First was unplanned after two days of induction not working. I was devastated, but had an amazing recovery and couldn’t have really asked for a better after experience. The second was a planned vbac that didn’t work out as planned and again, my heart was crushed. This time around, I am all ready for the planned moment of my Squishy’s birth. Thank you for sharing your experiences and laying out all the insights for all to read. You are so true to the word with all of them.
I love this so very much!! I have had four c-sections with my fab four and only two ended up having a birthday date planned (1st one not planned and the one made his own entry date-friday the 13th!) I so wanted to have a natural birth but looking back I would not have it any other way! I felt that I was missing a piece when they were brought to me already wrapped and covered with my first two that on my third my dr. gave me the greatest gift.. I got to see my only girl come out! Everything was covered so we didnt freak out 🙂 and took what I call the best pictures ever of my “messy” girl..I wish all dr’s would be a little flexable and make special memories for us c-section moms! I always tell other moms to be flexible with their birth plans and open..it makes for a much better experience all around!! I look forward to more of your fabulous writings!!
I am sitting here waiting for my second c-section and want to say thank you for this encouraging post. I have some of the same thoughts as you and am trying to make this as pleasant as possible.
Thank you for this post !!!!! It has helped me look on the bright side of things.
i love your post. I have had 3 c-sections, first one was an emergency. I can totally relate to your reasons for lovin it!!!. Once i caught my husband bragging to other men about how c-sections didn’t mess up his playground…. too funny. I’m glad you found peace with your situation. People can be very insensitive about your feelings. A lady i worked with told me she loved. her kids more than i loved mine because she had to push them out…birth is a miracle one way or the other. I prefer the beautiful babies that arrive c-s
thanks so much for this…so many disheartening stories about CS out there..
I want to be your friend! I have felt the exact same way over the last 2 years since my bouncing baby boy was born. My fervent desire to have my baby naturally was ever present throughout my pregnancy; however, God chose another path in order to save both my life and our little guy:) When the time came to take off all my jewelry and for my husband to change into surgical scrubs- it came with a heavy heart and lots of tears. I am supremely thankful today and am happy see to the brighter side of life including other ladies stories with the same heart and desire as myself:) thank you for sharing, and I am sure that I will read this again being that we are trying for number 2- how soon we forget!
Thank you so much for your blog!
I had an emergency c-section almost 7
Months ago. I too wanted an all
Natural birth. I prepared for it my whole
Pregnancy, and I didn’t care if I pooped
On the table.. Or that it would be
Painful. I am so thankful to know that
There are many c-section mommies
That feel the same way. We are giving
Birth to our babies too!
Thank you for this! I am having my 3rd c-section in a week (the first scheduled) and still struggle with it. I just hate when people seem to judge me right off for something I have no control over. I tried to have my babies vaginally twice and failed miserably twice. I cannot help it. 3 cm ain’t gonna cut it. People walk around their 8th month of pregnancy closer to birth than I can get with 20 hours of labor and pitocin. This is how I get my babies here safely. I feel brave for doing so. Surgery freaks me out. I totally agree that there is a higher power and His will be done. This is the way it goes for me and my babies and it’s ok.
I found your blog today and enjoy your optimistic, sweet attitude so much! I really struggled with my c-sections, too. I had my first in November 2009 and did not get any pictures until my son was 24 hours old because it was an emergency c-section and things were crazy. I really tried to embrace it the 2nd time around, but it is still hard to accept sometimes. Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me of the silver lining and that we definitely must leave it in God’s capable hands!
This is so great! I struggled with my first c-section, but then knowing I couldn’t have a VBAC for my second (12 months later) made the birthing experience even more frustrating and hard to deal with. But I am so thankful for the ways that God has used my story to encourage other mommas.
I first learned I would be having a C-section when I was 7 months pregnant. Our son was breach and there wasn’t any room in the “inn” for him to turn. Yes, I had completed the traditional Lamaze classes and wasn’t thrilled about the turn of events, however, I just thought how wonderful it was going to be as everyone that we loved would be able to be there for his birth.
My second C-section I opted for. Of course that was 20 years ago, however, I figured I already knew what to expect, and this did not make me feel any less of a woman. I am a proud mother of 2, grandmother of 3 (almost 4) and thank God every day for what I have and what He has given me.
I so needed to read this!! Thank you so much for writing this beautiful post. I have had 3 c-sections, and I can so relate to everything you mentioned. Struggled with ladies marketing comments that they wish they could have had c-sections cause it would have been easier, and I also struggled with the jealousy of others that can have vbacs or natural births. I know I just need to be grateful and thankful for each of my dear children and for God’s hand and peace through each c-section. Thanks for making my day!!
You are so right! I have always felt so judged (and at times continue to feel judged) by others for something I had no control over: #1 Breached and #2 low amniotic fluid. But you are so right, it wasn’t my plan, it was God’s plan. It was something I had to learn with the first baby so that I would be prepared for the second. I was told she would have Down Syndrome based on an ultrasound measurement. After visiting another hospital I was told she would be normal. I still had the fear in the back of my mind (I never did the genetic testing) but always had to remind myself of Jeremiah 29:11. Although I would have loved and taken care of my baby being born with Down Syndrome, she was born healthy and normal. Sometimes I think God wants us to remember to trust Him and His plans.
Another reason which some have mentioned: a healthy baby.
I thought I had it all together after number one – 4 hours of labor, 3 pushes, and I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl. God started chipping away at the bloated image I had. I had seven natural births – 4 in the hospital and 3 at home – generally, each harder than the last. Baby 6 was TOUGH – but after 36 hours he FINALLY arrived safely! With each pregnancy I had to do more and more pep talks with my self. I describe the last 2 months of pregnancy like Pippen in The Lord of the Rings, “I don’t want to be in a battle (labor), but waiting on the edge of one I can’t escape is even worse.” I never thought I would have a cesarean, and (pridefully?) asserted to myself that there was NO WAY I would EVER choose one.
The came Blessing number 8. It was a planned home birth, but at 36 weeks she quite moving and I began losing a pound a day; amniotic fluid became dangerously low. Then baby turned to a breech position and things began to be better, though she was still VERY lethargic. She did not move unless she was wakened. I kept being told, “As long as we can wake her up there isn’t a problem.” I wanted to scream that next time she might not wake and it would be too late. But, I couldn’t get them to do anything. At 39 weeks the doctor finally was willing to induce, but that meant doing a version. I made them check for a cord around the neck first as that seemed to be the onle possible explaination for the issues. They couldn’t tell and I ended up opting for a cesarean. Yep, I chose what I was NEVER going to choose to do. I was not about to risk the life of this blessing. Ihad spent 3 weeks (which seemed an eternity) wondering if she would be alive the next hour.
In the end there was absolutely NO explanation for the problems that arose. Everything MAY have been just fine if we had a version and a vaginal delivery. I am still convinced I choose right, however, no amount of “perfect” labor and delivery would fill the void of an empty cradle. I was not willing to gamble.
Take encouragement. There is the cliche that people tell us “All that matters is a healthy baby.” It is like a stab in the heart as we grieve over the loss of what we hoped and planned for. It is only in the long term that our hearts come to realize what we our minds have known as the truth ~ a healthy baby really is all that matters. Praise God for his gift of life, no matter how it is brought into this world. Give yourself time though, and allow yourself to grieve.
Thank you for this! I had my first emergency c-section 5/29/09, just days before your’s. My 2nd c-section was planned due to some medical issues and I had to go under anesthesia. My birth stories are horrible memories for me and I do get jealous of the fairy tale birth stories, but this post does make me feel less alone. I’m glad I’m not the only person that finds confidence in laughing without urination or having my lady parts escape pregnancy unscathed.
I feel terrible when I think these things, but I’m glad I’m not alone. It’s simply a means of surviving difficult memories I guess.
I had two – dec 9,2009 & Oct 30,2011. Due to first child, High BP, my less height, 30+ age, less chance for normal birth (and of course fear of natural birth at last moment !) I went for c-section without trying. I enjoyed both c-sections without any fear of pain!
I always avoided going to dr. in my life and while taking my first TT shot during 7th month of pregnancy, I had calm myself by telling that this is your first and last baby! After first c-section, when all stitches were removed – I was still on that same examination table where I had all 3 shots – the first thought came to my mind was – “It will not be bad to have second (child)!” It was vertical cut and had much pain for about 20 days and couldn’t bend.
I became pregnant again after 13 months – my husband was scared – even though we lived with either’s parents we had hid this pregnancy from them for 5 months! But took prenatal visits where I had 1st baby. 2nd c-section was at my husband’s city as my parents shifted. My husband had worked with that dr. and anesthetist years ago in another hospital and dr. told me to come at ANY time when I feel such pain and urge. 2nd was horizontal cut less painful afterwards! I never went to dr. for followup and removed my stitches by myself!
Now I want 3rd baby but family doesn’t allow!
Getting c-section is not so bad when there is risk. Both time I wasn’t scared a bit in ot and staff and I were talking, even laughed.
U made me feel so much better about my c section I honestly felt horrible I could say depressed and your positive way of being helped a lot thank u for sharing ??
I loved this post (I know I’m way late to the party). I had a lot of grief with my first C-section not being at all what I wanted, and, praise the Lord, I am healed from that now and can enjoy both of my beautiful daughters and memories of both of their C-section births. We are praying about having another baby, and I started going down the road again about C-section versus natural birth, and I think the Lord had me stumble upon this post just to remind me that His ways and plans are perfect. And also these reasons made me laugh out loud. Bless you for this!
I love this post! I had 3 c-sections, and it took me a long time to be comfortable with that. I didn’t really feel like a mom at all the first few years of my oldest’s life (he was a traumatic emergency delivery at 37 weeks). All your reasons are the ones I came up with too. 😉
When I had my second when the oldest was 5, I really wanted to try a VBAC, but my OB/GYN wasn’t on board. She had some other docs I could go to, but a gestational diabetes diagnosis settled the debate because a C-section would be more controlled and safer for me & baby. When #3 came along as a huge shock and was delivered just less than a year later, we didn’t even think twice about having another c-section.
I’m also a control freak, #2 went much better than the first, and I healed so quickly after #3 since I knew what to expect and what to do. 🙂
Thank you so much for writing this!! We NEED more blogs like this 🙂
It is a very long story, but after doing birth both ways-one natural and one c-section, my husband and I have felt lead to do a scheduled c-section with our third child. Even with completely sound reasons for choosing this, it can be discouraging when most women talk about how ”horrible” a c-section is and there is so much out there in praise of natural and ”Vbac” deliveries-it can make you feel like a bad mom for ”wanting” a c-section. But reading this blog was such an encouragement-it made me (again) actually look forward to the path God is pointing us towards, even if it isn’t what others may consider ”perfect”
Thank you again!
Thank you for this. I was devastated when I wasn’t able to deliver my son “the way I wanted” almost a year and half ago. Devastated that I had to have a c-section after 26 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing. I am approaching 32 weeks with our second bundle and will be having another c-section. Yes, I too am sad about it and at times jealous of others, but I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be a mother. Because some women do not get that chance.
Thanks for helping me feel better about my scar 🙂
Oh Dana! I totally understand… I’m sorry things did not work out the way you had hoped… But I know that God is glorified when we hold our ‘plans’ before Him with open hands – as you are doing with this new little bundle coming soon! YAY! I am very excited for you and what He has in store for your growing family. Many blessings on you and PEACE be with you in the coming weeks!!
Thank you so much for this. I just stumbled across your blog via pinterest and I love this story. I had an emergency c-section with my first and due to the complications, chose to go with a c-section for baby #2 as well. With my first, I had visions of labor with no pain meds, but it didn’t work that way. For the most part, I’ve contented myself with all of your above points (I never thought about it being a smiley face, but it so does! lol), but I agree, there is a part of me that wishes I could have labored and delivered them. I guess it doesn’t really matter now, God blessed me with two babies that I couldn’t love more, who cares how they came out!
Chrissy, God bless you, sister! I know it’s so hard to surrender our expectations! But man, it sounds like the Lord has totally blessed you with a perspective that brings glory to Him – at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter whether they came out the door or the window! Children are the gifts – not the birthing process. I am so proud of you!
This was a wonderful read and made my heart happy and gave myself more confidence about our surgery.
Melisa, I am so happy that this post was able to encourage you. 🙂 I believe with all my heart that the Lord will be with you! <3 Many blessings on you and your growing family.
I found this post on Pinterest, and I very much needed to read it. Thank you for demonstrating a thankful and godly attitude to me!
My third c-section will happen at the end of this year, and I pray I will have a beautiful attitude by the time it does!
I pray that too, Katie! You are so precious! <3
I love this post. I was much the same going into my first pregnancy, I wanted it to be all natural, no interfering and no drugs. Well, somebody had other plans. My daughter wasn’t doing well and I got induced which led to a c-section. I was devestated at first and was so envious o mom’s who gave birth naturally. I’ve since worked though those feelings and heading into my second pregnancy which will likely end in c-section I am more at peace with it and can embrace the good (as you have!) Instead of getting hung up on the bad. Thank you for writing this post!
Thank you so much for writing this. I literally was googling how a c section is better and found you! Ill be having my first child via c section this Friday and I just have so much anxiety over it PLUS feeling jealously of not getting to push and “experience” the labor I thought I was going to have. God has a plan and I think part of that was leading me to this blog to read these words of affirmation! Perfect mix of truth and funny. Thank you again 💙
Praying for you Molly! The Lord is with you… I know it’s so hard to let go of a dream, but I pray the Lord will just soak the whole experience in His love and kindness for you and your new little one. You are amazing!
I really appreciate this! After two c’s, I can relate. I sometimes feel jealous or like I got gypped out of the experience. I feel like I rushed my body the first time around and the second time I had a failed vbac. Does a lot for your self esteem, I tell you lol. I hold some resentment and wonder if I hadn’t induce the first baby, could I have birthed naturally? But, on the other hand, what if that answer is no, and I’m just a c-section mama. Then thank God that I live in these modern times! And maybe I can be an encouragement to others going through it. Just one more thing that causes me to cling to Christ. I fully blame my round, protruding tummy on my c section, but I’m going to try to remember the happy face instead. Thanks for the perspective! <3
Thanks for the perspective. I had a c section also and never really felt ok with it because it was traumatic and sudden. We will be facing the descision with our next child and would like to learn to be more accepting of circumstances that I can’t control and put faith in God that he knows what’s best
I think it’s only natural to have an idea in our head of how birth will be (or really anything in life) and then feel short changed when it doesn’t go that way. I was able to have an unmedicated vaginal birth but my son passed away less than 48 hours later. I can tell you that I would go through labor a hundred times more or get cut open a hundred times just to have my baby in my arms. It truly doesn’t matter how your baby enters this worlds, you are blessed beyond measure to take them home safely. ❤️
I had tears in my eyes and laughed at the same time. Thank you for writing this! I’m expecting #2 in May and I’m so glad I found your post! ❤
I would like to share my story where I delivered my baby through C-Section. I had a dream that I would give birth naturally, but it didn’t happen so. My baby was an emergency C-section baby for 27 weeks. I completely relate to your blog. I have felt the jealousy when others have a natural birth story. But I have faith in God and I trust his decisions, so I am happy that I delivered a healthy and happy baby nothing else should matter. also, I was reading about C-Section (Cesarean Section) on whattoexpect and it contains excellent information and guidance. I’m sure this article will be helpful for all…
I never thought I’d be reading anything on c-sections after my first emergency cs with my son. With this pregnancy I knew, I just knew I’d be able to have a VBAC! Nothing could go wrong or change that right? Well I’m now almost 41 weeks along and nothing has happened. My c-section is scheduled for tomorrow and I am beyond sad and depressed. I know it’s not my fault but that really doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m trying to stay positive even though I have a negative view on cs. Wish me luck.