The Quality Time Kid and the Martha Mommy

I am a DO-er.  I am always moving, cleaning, typing, working, reading, talking, folding, laundering, imagining and any other action verb you can think of.

This makes an interesting dynamic in our home because Happy Buddy’s love language is quality time.  All day long he asks me to play with him and look at him and help him and cook with him and sit with him and read with him and snuggle with him and just be with him.

And all that Martha in me is learning to be a little bit more like Mary.

Because y’all don’t have to tell me that time flies.

I KNOW.

In 15 years I want my boy to still ask me to do all those things I listed above with him (even snuggle, because I know 25 year old boys like to do that with their mamas – at least that book Love You Forever gives me hope), so every time I squash that desire to write that email, scrub that dish, or go on that purge-every-closet-in-the-house rampage, I am planting a seed for future relationship with my boy.

I don’t get it perfect every day.  I have a really hard time not trying to do 1,000 other things while spending ‘quality time’ with Happy Buddy.  Sometimes the laundry wins.  Or my iPhone. 😉

And I also feel the need to point out the importance of balance here.  If I said yes to Happy Buddy EVERY time he asked me to play with him I would literally be playing with him ALL DAY LONG.  I grew a whole other person in my belly for him to have as a regular playmate.  Plus, we expect Happy Buddy to daily have time to play by himself, as well as come alongside me as a helper in the work that has to get done in our house.

Not to mention that I think there are some risks in spending too much time with our quality-time-loving-kids… Sometimes I see a little bit of an attitude in Happy Buddy that feels entitled to my presence instead of having a heart of gratitude for the efforts I make to invest in his heart.  That’s when we step back and try to regain a healthy perspective on mommy’s availability.

But with all that said, the bigger picture is me learning how to love my little guy best.

When Happy Buddy was born, we picked a name for him that means ‘Peace’ and ‘Rest’.

I had thought that by naming him this great name that he would become the very definition of it.  As a newborn that would look like a very peaceful baby who didn’t cry.  As a toddler he would quietly play and color in coloring books for fun.  As a preschooler he would never get in trouble in class or have emotional outbursts.

I smile now at how the Lord had a bigger plan for this boy’s name (and I laugh at my lack of understanding about REALITY – hahaha).

Because the meaning of Happy Buddy’s name wasn’t necessarily meant to embody his character but rather transform MINE.

This boy calls me to rest when my flesh wants to work and do.

This boy calls me to peace when I want to worry about all the things a mama can worry about.

This boy reminds me that watching him shoot hoops or pulling out a game of Battleship or sitting on the couch to watch a Nascar race or playing T-Ball with him in the 100 degree summer heat is the ‘better choice’ (Luke 10:42).

Summer is giving me the gift of more quality time with this amazing boy.

And I’m hoping to make Mary proud. 🙂

What is your child’s love language and how does it challenge you to grow?

– Julie