Have you ever reached that point with your kids where all you can think about is going to Chick-Fil-A because at least someone there thinks it is a pleasure to serve YOU?
🙂
After putting the couch cushions back on the sofa for the 100th time, we booked it to that magical land of cheeky cows and selfless employees and an hour of peaceful mealtime and playing.
The second we hit the indoor play area, the Happy Baby began pointing to the top of the play structure where the white Chick-Fil-A cow car hung. He pointed and grunted and waved his arms in desire to go up there. I encouraged him to climb the steps, but knew it would be super difficult for him to do.
There was another mommy sitting next to me who also had 2 children running around. She asked me how old the Happy Baby was. I told her that the Happy Baby was 2 and watched her look over my boy for several seconds.
She said that her child was 2 as well and I followed her gaze to a bouncy blond-haired girl who could have probably squished my 2-year-old with one of her big toes.
I immediately felt insecure.
Compared to her strong and energetic daughter who was running around, climbing up the play structure and coming down the slide 4 times in the same amount of time it took mine to climb one step, my boy’s physical weaknesses were kind of obvious.
I found myself blurting out how the Happy Baby has a muscle weakness and that is why he was having such a hard time doing what came so naturally to her same-aged daughter.
While I sat fretting and comparing over in the corner, the Happy Buddy was racing up to his little brother, pulling on his arm, trying to get him to climb the structure and get to the white car he had expressed such interest in initially.
I told my firstborn, “I love that you are trying to help your brother do what he wants to do, but I don’t think he can climb up there, pal. It is a lot of work for him. Go play. Your brother will hang here at the bottom.”
Because my kid is so obedient, he went straight back to pulling the Happy Baby’s arm, commanding his brother to climb up the structure with him.
It was starting to become a bit of an ordeal, so again I said, “Son, let your brother go. He can’t get up there.”
As I turned back to the other mom, I overheard the Happy Buddy in the background saying.
“You can do this, brother! You’re doing it! Look at you! You’re so strong!”
I glanced over toward the structure and saw the Happy Baby slowly climbing each stair with a big smile on his face as his brother coached him from behind.
Next thing I knew I was whipping out my camera and taking a photo of the two of them up in the cow car.
Later that day as I was putting the couch cushions back on the couch again and thinking about the mom at Chick-Fil-A and the Happy Baby’s victory, the Lord revealed something to me.
While I had been busy focusing on my son’s weaknesses, the Happy Buddy had been busy coaching his brother beyond them.
And you know what? My sweet little boy doesn’t say much, but he hears EVERYTHING.
He probably heard me telling that mom about his ‘hypotonia’ and thought the same thing.
He probably thought he would never make it up that jungle gym.
His thoughts were limited by what I told him he could do.
Until someone came and told him otherwise.
When I tell my child, “You are weak,” he will more than likely think he is weak.
When we tell our child, “You’re a bad boy!” he will more than likely think he is, indeed, bad.
When we mention to the other moms at the pool, “My child is small for her age,” she might start feeling like something is wrong with her.
Or how often do we say, “He’s my wild child,” to everyone and anyone who interacts with us.
Even the toddler clothing industry doesn’t help us with the onesies and T-Shirts offering helpful phrases across the chest like, “Mommy’s Little Monster” or “Here Comes Trouble.”
Those kinds of words only set them up for a life of living at the bottom of the playground.
Or staying the monster his onesie says he is.
I’m thinking Gideon’s mom must have put him in a onesie that said, “Not good enough.”
Because Gideon thought he was the ‘weakest and the least in his father’s house’ when an angel of the Lord paid him a visit (Judges 6:15).
But God called him a ‘mighty man of valor’.
And with that encouragement, Gideon ended up playing a critical role in the deliverance of Israel from idols and enemies.
We must begin to view our children not as under the law of sin and death (you are a bad boy, you are weak, you are a monster) or what our world has cast as a standard for them (your child’s size, development, diagnosis, looks) but view them as under the umbrella of God’s grace and love (you are a good boy who made a bad choice, you are a mighty warrior, you can do this – God is with you, you are a daughter/son of the King, you are beautiful, you are fearfully and wonderfully made).
Our call as mommies is to remind our children (over and over and over again) who they really are.
Who God tells them they are.
So when the Happy Buddy speaks unkindly to his brother, I try to remind him that that is not who he is. I’ll say, “You are not a mean boy. You are loving and you care deeply for your brother.”
When I ask the Happy Buddy to help me bring in the groceries, if he obeys (woohoo!), I will say, “Wow, you are a helper. Thank you.”
When one of my kids takes initiative to brush his own teeth, put clothes in the hamper, clean up toys without me reminding them – and, let’s be honest, this happens about as often as presidential elections – I say with a boatload of enthusiasm, “You are responsible!“
When we go to bed at night I pray prayers of thanks that my boys are learning to be obedient young men (even if we had a day of consequences and time-outs and mommy hiding out in the bathroom).
I always tell my boys before bed (something I learned from one of the video messages in Beth Moore’s Breaking Free study),
“I believe you have what it takes to be a great man and I am so proud to be your mama.”
And the Happy Buddy recently taught me how important it is to remind his little brother that he is STRONG in the Lord.
These kinds of words bring life and truth to my children’s hearts so that when they are faced with the jungle gyms of life, they won’t be stuck at the bottom believing that they don’t have what it takes.
So make it your mission to cheer your kids up the obstacles of this playground of a world.
Because life in the cow car is pretty good.
– Julie 🙂
this is a great message even for those of us with kids in college!
Thanks, Leslie. I totally agree! xoxo
Wow……
Happy Buddy taught me so much!
Thank you for sharing this.
My oldest has sensory integration issues and not to focus on his weakness when it becomes apparent in public. Thank you for sharing this – I won’t forget it. You’ve blessed me.
What a great reminder, thanks for sharing! I always love reading your posts!
Heather, thank you!
Sweet Brie – I love your heart! You are an amazing mother.
Thank you for this! A perfect reminder with perfect timing.
Kandi – that is awesome! I am so glad! Thank you for stopping by!
This is one of my hardest challenges. I am guilty of putting a negative on my children and I don’t mean too. They so so many good things and sometimes we look at the negative. I really want to focus on the good in them and say that out loud. Thanks for your messages!
Yvonne, we ALL struggle with being better at seeing what is ‘less than perfect.’ That is why we need Jesus so much to open our eyes to what He is doing in spite of all that negative stuff. And then we have the high calling of sharing what He tells us with our littles. You are awesome, mama! Praying He helps you see your kids in a different light today. xoxo
Thank you for sharing this.
Carol, thank you for leaving a comment and for stopping by today… 🙂
Awesome lesson/analogy. I hear Vickie saying “your kids will become who you say they are” each time I find myself pointing out their weaknesses. Thanks for also reminding us how important encouragement is!
Merrie Beth – YES! Vickie’s words are always ringing in my head and were definitely the inspiration behind this post!
Julie, dearest Happy Home Fairy, thank you so much for your words of encouragement to your sisters in Christ! You will never know how many of your words have been so timely for me, and truly guided by the Holy Spirit!
Thank you again, for sharing with all of us!
In Him,
Mandy
Thank you, sweet Mandy!
Thank you so much for this post! I have three children and my 9 year old boy is also hypotonic. Gross motor skills were challenging to master for him. We’ve reminded him from an early age that he was fearfully and wonderfully made and God has great plans for Him. Nonetheless I am sure it can be discouraging for him at times. Thank you for infusing this mom with encouragement and new words to encourage my child. We all need that reminder.
Karen, I’m sorry for the challenges you have had with your little guy, but not sorry for the amazing things it is clear God has taught you in the midst of it… Your words are inspiring! Thank you for your encouragement today!
Julie, unrelated to your great message here, but HEAR me sister. You need industrial strength velcro for those couch cushions. As a mother of four who still harbors a love of order and delights in the smallest ways it can be manifested in my home, couch cushions permanently staying in place, not sliding off a little each time a little one struggled up or down, was a small miracle. We ordered it on amazon and it actually works! We put it on over a year ago and the cushions have remained in place ever since. If you are talking about decorative pillow things that set on top to look pretty, do yourself a favor. put them away for two weeks. If you miss them and feel they really brought you joy, bring them back out. I have a hunch the freedom from the clutter of picking them up over and over will outway the prettiness factor. You can always get them out to impress guests(by how often you replace them to their proper position). Those things were designed to look good in magazines and homes of people with free time and no small children.
Girl, this is HILARIOUS and awesome and I will go look on Amazon later today.
Wow I love this message so true!
Thanks, Jadie!
Your post made me cry last night. I so needed this. Praise God, and thank you for sharing even when you are not at your best. I am right there with you.
Amanda, I wish I could have supplied you with a tissue! You’re awesome. Thanks for your encouraging words!
Everything you’ve written here is SO TRUE, Julie. It’s so important as mothers (and wives!) that we speak words of encouragement to our children (and husbands!). Thanks for the very Biblical reminder to make it our habit to do so.
Awesome, Jennifer! YEs – our husbands need our words of life as well! That is very powerful and such a blessing to have that opportunity to be an encouragement to them.
I LOVE THIS POST! It made me think of two verses: Ephesians 4:29 — “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” And Proverbs 25:11 — “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” I’m thankful for you, Julie, and for this post, and for how it will impact so many parents and children, bringing glory to God.
Love these verses, Barb, and love your heart. You always see the best in people. You inspire me! Thank you! xoxo
Brilliant post, Julie! I could not agree with you more as the parent of two high achieving college students. We spent a lot of time talking to our kids about what they could do academically, and not enough time (I think) about what they could achieve spiritually. We made the school “muscles” stronger than the faith muscles, to some extent. It is so very important that we not neglect EITHER SIDE of the encouragement tree. The habit of encouragement and talking about what CAN be and not what can’t is a habit that’s more valuable than gold.
Thank you, Mark!
Thank you so much for this post Julie! It really spoke to my heart and blessed me beyond words.
Thanks, Sabrina! Your words blessed me tonight!
This struck a loud chord with me after a tension filled day in our household. In the midst of chaos and disrespect (exhibited by all of us) I forget my boys are precious, unique children of God. May your piercing words remain on my heart at all times. Thank you so much for your uplifting message!!!!
Rebecca, I love your humble and teachable spirit. His mercies are new every morning! xoxo
Fabulous! Very insightful. Wow! What the Spirit reveals as we meditate on the Word and pray.
Thanks, Ruth. 🙂
Great post! My cousin (also named Julie) emailed it to me. Always love discovering new blogs by fellow moms. Looking forward to reading more! God bless 🙂
Ellen! Thanks for letting me know how you got to HHF and for your encouragement! I will look forward to getting to know you!
God is SO good!
Debbie, He definitely is. 🙂
Thank you so much for this post. It was so encouraging and timely. I’ve really been blessed by your blog. Thankful for a believing mama who is willing to share her heart struggles.
Wow…just wow…
What a beautiful reminder. I was just talking to my mom about this the other day. Words really can bring emotional life or death. They can cause others to wither or thrive. Such enormous power from such a small part of the body. I wonder how many times we adults are also held back by the things we say, and therefore believe, about ourselves and our perceived limitations… I know I’m guilty of that much too often…
Brandi, so true. We have a HUGE responsibility with the taming of our tongues! Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks… Thanks for stopping by!
How have I not found your site before today?! Love it! Thanks for being so generous with your time, talent, and ideas!!!
Side note: my husband owns a Chick-fil-A and it warms my heart to hear of your experience 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Yay, Laura! I am so happy you found my little space! I hope you enjoy!