Every year when Valentine’s Day rolls around, I have to spend a few minutes checking my expectations.
Ahh… expectations. Those little boogers can really put a damper on days that are supposed to be fun and memorable.
If I expect the hubs to spend Valentine’s Day lavishing me with flowers and cards and candy, and maybe he doesn’t do any of those things, then those crushed expectations will make me want to spend the entire day moping and grumbling and feeling bitter wondering why the man I married isn’t more like the guys in a Nicholas Sparks novel.
This is not healthy, my friends.
I love the way Courtney from Women Living Well put it in her awesome post about Valentine’s Day expectations – “There are no exceptions in the Bible where it says on Birthdays, Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day we have permission to be selfish and self-centered.”
And then she shares this humbling verse from Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.”
So what do we do with that?
We, as wives, let our husbands off the hook tomorrow.
We stop expecting them to serve us all day long and instead find ways to serve them.
And we do it with joy in our hearts because it puts joy in God’s heart to see His daughters walking in obedience.
Now I am not saying that my hubby never makes me feel loved or never serves me.
Oh that blessed man serves me every single day! For starters, he drives the Happy Buddy to school every morning, battling 8 am traffic before he has even had a chance to drink a cup of coffee, he never complains when I don’t have anything planned for dinner and he has to eat leftovers (again), he helps get our boys in bed on the nights he is home, he bought me a new computer when I dropped my old one in our church’s parking lot, he subscribes to my blog, he went against everything he felt about Social Media and opened up a Facebook account last week just so that he could vote for Happy Home Fairy every day in the Parents Blog Awards competition, he gives me massages on occasion, shows me grace when I screw up (like when the Happy Baby fell off the changing table he didn’t judge me or make me feel like an irresponsible parent and that blessed me more than he will ever know), makes me laugh ’til my sides hurt, keeps our house safe, fluffs the pillows on the couch before coming to bed because he knows I like waking up to a nice-looking sofa, tells me I am a good mommy when I get up in the middle of the night to pump, listens to me when I have had a bad day wrestling anxiety concerning the Happy Baby, gives me the wisest counsel when I need it, occasionally breaks out his guitar and leads our family in worship, prays with me, cleans up poopy diapers or the Happy Buddy’s 24-hour stomach bug vomit without complaining, works hard every day to provide for our family…
Ohhh… the list goes on and on.
Why should I forget all these wonderful, precious things just because our society has made a day on the calendar demand red roses (which don’t even last) and chocolates (which inevitably make you depressed and break out the fat pants)?
What lasts is an attitude that isn’t about what I want but what God wants. An attitude that says, “I am going to make it my mission to love and serve the people God has put in my family without expecting anything in return because that brings glory to God.
And isn’t that the whole point of Happy Home Fairy?
The happiest homes are the ones that understand this calling.
So take a good long look over this list of 14 ways to love your man and pick one or two or three to rock his socks (or his pants – I’m just sayin’) off tomorrow. 🙂
Happy Best Valentine’s Day Ever-ing!
*I must credit To Love, Honor, and Vacuum for several of these ideas. She has an AMAZING post on How to Flirt with Your Husband that will bless your marriage so much!*
I already do all those things, and I’m a grandma 🙂 Great post!
Love this!!! I am a new blog follower of yours and I really enjoy it! In fact, I look forward to it 🙂 Thanks for posting!!
Julie you are awesome!! I just love how real you are. Your list made me smile and I know many of them are favorites of my man 😉
Have a great day loving your family! Amy
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Amen, Julie! Sometimes it seems to me that women have this secret expectation that they want their husbands to think like…well, women!…when it comes to expectations for Valentine’s Day, etc., which can obviously be on the unrealistic side. Such a good and timely reminder <3
didn’t you get me in enough trouble yesterday ; )
Really enjoyed this post! Encouraging, uplifting & fun – good reminders to keep our focus in the right place especially on a day like today 🙂
Oh sweet woman of God, THANK YOU for these wonderful words of wisdom! My husband has recently been laid up after suffering a ruptured Achilles tendon and having surgery. Before the injury, I had been feeling emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually drained! I found myself complaining in my mind about all the things I do on a daily basis and becoming bitter about how many more responsibilities I have to deal with than my husband! Not to mention that I was kind of dreading another Valentines Day, to a certain extent. I was selfish, prideful, and certainly “un-Christlike”! I’ve chosen to finally open my ears and my “eyes”, spiritually speaking, and through my husband’s recovery period, I have learned two VERY important things… 1. I need to appreciate my hubby so much more. He really does do a whole lot for me and for our little family. AND 2. I need to serve him better! Right now, he can’t do much for himself and in my helping him to the degree in which I am doing it, I am finding joy in it. Thank you for confirming both of these very things in this post! Thank you for the encouragement, the wisdom, and the great ideas! I can’t wait to celebrate my love for my wonderful husband this Valentines Day by making it a little more special for HIM and not expecting ANYTHING in return! God’s abundant blessings to you and your precious family!