I’m not even sure how this particular baking sheet came into my possession.
The Happy Hubby seems to think that it might have been a part of his meager collection of kitchen items that were brought into our marriage.
One thing’s for sure.
That baking pan has seen many a Totino’s Pizza, Mickey-shaped chicken nuggets and break and bake cookies.
The question that I am asking myself this New Year is – why do I still use that horrifyingly disgusting and warped old cookie sheet when I have two new shiny ones from a super fancy kitchen store gathering dust in our cabinets?
Why can’t I scrap the old baking pan and enjoy the wonder (and glorious uniform browning) of my new ones?
Would you believe that they have NEVER BEEN USED and they are gifts from our wedding registry 8 YEARS AGO?!
I can’t even show you a picture of the dilapidated-same-towels-we-used-in-college that are hanging on the back of our bathroom door.
Something is wrong here.
I seem to have closets and cabinets full of shiny new things that I can’t bring myself to use because…
Is it because I don’t want to ruin them?
Is it because I think I’m not good enough to use such nice things?
Is it because I like familiarity and change kind of
makes me want to hibernate with the bears scares me a bit?
It seems ridiculous not to use the lovely gifts that have been given to us…
Is this anything like how I handle the sin in my life?
Often times the Lord tries to give me something new and I cling to the old for the very same reasons why I still have an ugly baking pan.
I don’t feel I deserve it.
I don’t want to mess things up.
I, quite honestly, don’t like change.
BUT His gifts are always beautiful – always best – always exactly what we need to grow and move forward.
Case in point: Ever since I had the Happy Buddy, I’ve never known fear as I do now. Something about having a child suddenly transformed me into this anxiety-ridden worry-wart.
Especially concerning his health.
What if I don’t feed him the right things and he becomes malnourished?
What if this 3rd fever he has had in the last 6 weeks is an indicator of some horrible disease?
What if that handle on the freezer case at Wal-Mart that he just licked is going to make him so sick he might need to be hospitalized?
And now with this pregnancy…
What if my recently diagnosed hypothyroidism affects the baby’s brain development?
A person can’t live like this without it slowly turning them into an old baking sheet (not to mention how it effects the people in your life – I mean, how can I deprive my sweet Happy Hubby of such lovely non-old-smelling towels?).
And then there’s God.
My gracious Savior trying to hand me a clean baking sheet life without fear and I can’t seem to accept it because fear is what I know.
My fear makes me feel like I can control things – if I take the new baking sheet that He is offering, surely I will ruin it.
But I won’t – not when it’s His new thing.
Isaiah 43:19 says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
And 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
My prayer is that 2012 will be the year I choose to get rid of the old stuff in my life (whether it be towels or fear) and receive the new things with humble joy.
When that old feeling of fear tries to creep in, maybe I’ll just bat it away with my sparkling new baking sheet.
So, dear Happy Home Friends, are there any ‘old’ areas in your life that need to be fully surrendered in exchange for the abundant life Jesus promises?
Because the fear-free, perfectly browned cookie life is one I want to walk in!
Happy New Year, dear Happy Home Friends. xoxo