I never knew how hard it would be to actually get to church once I had babies.
When I was pregnant with the Happy Buddy I had visions of him being a baby in my arms, the 2 of us swaying together while we worshiped in the front pew and then he would sleep peacefully through the sermon.
Reality Check! – We make it through the first song okay, then lady behind me taps my shoulder to inform me that baby has projectile puked all over my shoulder and carpet. I run to the cry room where he proceeds to fight sleep, have a poop explosion (and I have forgotten to pack an extra change of clothes) and refuse to nurse under a cover.
There have been (still are) plenty of Sundays where I am That Mom with the loud, crying baby during the reflective, quiet times of prayer (I like to think that my babies are being moved by the Spirit. Ha!). 🙂
Some of you might ask what about the nursery?
Well… my boys have both struggled a bit with separation anxiety as babies – with the added dynamic that I’m just not as comfortable yet exposing the Happy Baby to other children while his little immune system is still so fragile.
I’ll never forget one time this precious lady who was serving in the nursery came out to find me during the service to assure me that they were okay with it, but was I okay with the fact that the Happy Buddy hadn’t stopped screaming since I left?
I found myself wondering – why do I bother going to church at all?
Have you ever felt that way???
I’ve come to realize, friends, that all the hassle – the missed naps, the 18,000 bags you have to bring, the fussing, the hiding out in the cry room, the half-heard sermons, the fear that everyone thinks you’re a bad mom because your baby is hollering louder than the worship band, the several times I actually fell asleep in the cry room because I was so exhausted from being up all night with a baby, the terrible hair style because I didn’t have time to fix myself in the circus act of getting everyone out the door…
I’ve come to realize that it’s not about me.
It’s not about what I get out of it or what it does to my kids’ schedules or even all the hoop-de-la it takes to even get there.
It’s about doing it for Him.
Our going to church is an act of worship.
Whether we feel like it or not, we go because it brings Him pleasure.
He sees us sitting in the cry room alone with our fussing babies.
He sees us and He loves that we came.
He loves that we set aside our desire to keep our babies on a schedule or our feathers unruffled for one day out of the week so that we could trust that He would take care of everything – even the poop explosions and distracted feeding sessions.
And you know what else? In the overflow of that sacrifice, our children see that attending church is important.
Not some legalistic thing we do to earn God’s favor, but as we obey to go, we are blessed by fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ as well as the filling of His Spirit.
Even if it’s in between diaper changes and chasing kids from going up on the stage after the service, seeing my church family is always an encouragement.
And in those moments in the back of the sanctuary or cry room, I’ve often imagined Jesus sitting there with me, whispering to my tired self that He loves me. That I don’t need to hear a full sermon to be filled with the enormity of that simple truth. 🙂
Don’t get me wrong, I CAN’T WAIT until I can sit through services uninterrupted, but for now, in this season with the littles, I sacrifice the comfort and ease of routines and home because I know that going to church brings Him glory.
With that said…
There are just some days when your Happy Buddies will be sick and you simply can’t go to church.
Like today. Both the boys have colds so we knew our brothers and sisters in Christ wouldn’t want our snot all over them. 🙂
So we had a little church service in the Happy Baby’s room.
We gathered with the congregation.
The Happy Buddy led us in worship.
And read to us from God’s Word.
*Note – The Happy Buddy had been having a rough morning before this and I was having to correct his behavior quite a bit… Should I find it concerning that he chose to read to us the story about Jesus ‘running away’ from his family?? 🙂
We had a time of prayer.
And more worship.
The Happy Baby joined in our praise time with the tambourine.
Apparently our church is a touch charismatic. 🙂
We even served refreshments at the end.
It was a great service (and not just because we were all rockin’ in our pajamas)!
When it was over and we were enjoying our cookies and tea, I asked the Happy Buddy why we didn’t sing his all-time favorite worship song.
He looked at me very seriously and said, “Oh Mommy, we’re doing that song in the second service.” 🙂
Happy Church-ing!
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” Romans 12:1
Tara
April 28, 2013 at 10:22 pmBeen there. Done that. Asked the question aloud multiple times. It. Gets. Better. Mommies, please continue to take your babies to church, even when it seems like a total waste of combing your hair! They need to see it, even through the poop disasters and projectile vomit. You are doing your family such a service by taking them to church!
Happy Home Fairy
April 28, 2013 at 10:24 pmOh Tara, I couldn’t agree more! Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement!
Tara
April 29, 2013 at 8:27 amYou’re welcome! Four kids 6-12. It gets much better! You think it’s sweet when they recognize a praise song from home or a favorite CD? Wait until they can read it themselves. 🙂
Jenny
April 28, 2013 at 10:28 pmOoooo thank you for this reminder! I didn’t go today because my younger daughter has pink eye. Our girls are now 5 and 6, so it’s a teensy bit better, but forEVER, I didn’t even know why I bothered to go. My husband is the pastor of our small congregation, and I rarely get to participate in a meaningful way. A few weeks ago, during the prayer time, my younger daughter was in the restroom (I could see the door from where I sat) and my husband asked me about an update for someone who’d been ill. Just as I began to answer him, my older daughter checked on the younger one, and the younger screamed bloody murder so that the entire church sat there in shock and I ran for the bathroom with a red face and hung out there, hissing about using manners in church until the final hymn. I thought I was going to die.
But you know what? Several people came to me afterward to tell me how precious she is, and that they wouldn’t change a thing… it reminded them of their child-rearing days. ((hugs))
Lynn
April 28, 2013 at 10:48 pmI am sobbing as I read this. I have struggled soooooo much over the past year with church attendance (rough pregnancy, preemie twins). And I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t want to go. I have the exact same problems with the nursery, and why go just to watch it on the nursing room monitor? But God, ever faithful, is speaking to me about this in so many ways today, this post being the most specific as to why I should go, even with two babies – it is my spiritual act of worship, my living sacrifice. Thank you so much.
Joyce Doty
April 28, 2013 at 10:49 pmOh, Julie, you NEVER stop teaching (to your kids and your followers) and you NEVER stop preaching (to your kids and your followers), and that’s EXACTLY why I come to visit your wonderful blog nearly every day. Keep it up!
Joyce
Jen
April 28, 2013 at 10:56 pmThank u so much for posting this today! All of your posts are an inspiration to me, but since we ” skipped” Church today I really needed to read this one today! The past few years have been filled with sicknesses and surgeries for myself and I struggle with getting me and my 2 girls to service quite a bit. Ur right ! It is a sacrifice we need to do and so important for the kids to see MY commitment. Ugh. Next week:) thanks again for your amazing and inspiring blog:)
Happy Home Fairy
April 28, 2013 at 11:00 pmSweet Jen, don’t be too hard on yourself. God certainly doesn’t get upset when we don’t go, He just loves it when we do! He wants to bless you. But He will minister to your heart wherever you are physically capable of being. 🙂 REmember that. You are doing a great job.
Sarah
April 28, 2013 at 11:39 pmYou are the best! Such a great encouragement…..and just what I needed to hear 🙂
Janna
April 29, 2013 at 12:02 amThank you so much for your words! I love what it says in Luke, chapter 8, verse 16: “But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” Children’s hearts are so pure, and they can feel the Savior’s love for them (even when they are hungry, fussy, or need a diaper change!). I know that if Jesus was here with us, he would want to gather the children around His knee to teach them and bless them. We are instruments in His hands as we take them to church (and as we do our best at home on days of sickness or trial), as we teach them His word, and as we help them feel of His love each day. As we help our children grow in their faith, our faith grows as well, and our families are strengthened in the Lord.
Wishing your family health and happy noses soon!!! 🙂
Francis
April 29, 2013 at 12:06 amWow! Amazing h
Francis
April 29, 2013 at 12:13 amWow! Amazing how God will speak to you!
You are awesome at what you do and Thank you for all your wonderful posts. I struggled to get to church with my five kids because my husband was sick and couldn’t attend. I too thought why bother. But after teaching the kids class I had to teach, one of my kids came up to me and said “that’s the best class we’ve had in a while” and I was so glad I came. You see it’s never about me. It will always be about Him! Again, thank you! I hope your babies get better soon and keep up the great work of inspiring us all.
Blessings
A Gawler
April 29, 2013 at 12:17 amMy children are now teenagers, but I remember times like this oh so well! I would often be in tears with my kids as I suffered from PND. We continue to go to church together. They worship God with my husband and I and I’m sure the example we set them has been significant to them.
Dana Dyer
April 29, 2013 at 12:19 amI am an empty nester, but I enjoy your tales with the littles. Today, I appreciate your message. So many times I struggle with attending church service with a long list of excuses. You have reminded me that it’s not necessarily about what I will get from the service, but worshiping God and fellowshiping with my church family.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and joy. Bless you!
Carol Burgess
April 29, 2013 at 1:01 amThank you for posting this..Really needed to read this today..
Morgan
April 29, 2013 at 6:45 amThis is such a wonderful post. I agree with everything you said and know this feeling for myself with my little ones. Growing up I was the oldest of five kids in under 8 years. I remember a Sunday my mom spent the whole service in the cry room and she came out crying and asked our paster’s wife why she should even bother doing this (getting all 5 of us kids there) when she didn’t get to hear any of the sermon. In addition to what you said, her response was that my mom is an encouragement to other moms who feel like they can’t make it. Just showing up might be an encouragement to others, just as your post is an encouragement to me.
lizlacy
April 29, 2013 at 7:10 amYou are making wise choices with your children. The time goes so fast and you will some days wish that you had your little interruptions even when you are fine with where you are in life. Love that you had Happy Buddy lead church.
Harriett
April 29, 2013 at 7:16 amBeautifully said! I now have grandchildren and I can say that for me “hearing” those children and watching the parent’s reactions just make me smile!
Gina Koren
April 29, 2013 at 8:45 amBest worship service God has probably ever seen! Perfectly wonderful-
Pay Davis
April 29, 2013 at 12:44 pmYou are wise beyond your years! God bless you and your family.
Sent from my iPhone
Andrea Worley (@andreaworley)
April 29, 2013 at 1:42 pmso, so good. a great reminder for all us mommas.
Tracy Pons
April 29, 2013 at 2:49 pmOh, Dearie!! How I love U and ur GIFT of telling it like it is so gently and lovely, that it makes me miss those days, even tho w a 5 yr old,(Jett, too) we still have them!!! I laughed I cried,I praised The Almighty! Thank u for sharing! God bless you and urs AND ur lil’ pastor!!! Tracy Pons
Sent from my iPhone
Jen
April 29, 2013 at 3:54 pmYour blog is a great encouragement to me as a Christian woman and a first time mom. We go to a great church and have been very involved before having our baby girl and this Sunday we went back to greeting and brought our three month ok wih us. Hoping she will know how important Christ is in our lives and serving him and loving his people.
Teri Severine
April 29, 2013 at 5:04 pmas a mom and children’s ministry director at our church, i see the young moms struggling for that balance and i think it is extremeky important for children to be part of the church family. we find that most children with seperation anxiety (unless it is a severe case) overcome it quickly if the family attends church regularly and the parents encourage the young ones-be very careful not to put any of your fears (of leaving your child) onto your child if they sense your apprehension and worry -it makes them anxious. also-if you are not comfortable with leaving your child you should really pray about why you are uncomfortable-is it a genuine concern (lack of trained volunteers) or just your own seperation anxiety 🙂 i love to see little ones sitting in church being trained by their parents to worship and glorify our Father God. God bless you and your little ones as you raise them according to the scriptures
Melanie
April 29, 2013 at 11:40 pmWow. I so needed to read this. We, too, have been struggling with church attendance for all these same sort of scenarios! Thank you for this beautifully put post. You said it so perfectly – brought me to tears. I will be re-reading this over and over. Thank you SO much for putting out there what HE put on your heart to share. A blessing to so many of us already 🙂
Andrea
April 30, 2013 at 5:08 pmWell written. Now that my little ones are 8 and 5….I can chuckle at the memory of the Sunday drama over getting to church. We still have drama, but it has become easier!
Judy Schell
May 2, 2013 at 12:40 pmBlessings for Mother’s Day~
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Ann
May 2, 2013 at 5:36 pmWhen our babies were 2, 1, and newborn, my husband and I played tag team in the parking lot to get to church. One of us would go to the first service, switch off, then one to the second. The kids had stranger anxiety really bad along with it being really bad when anyone got sick, everyone got sick but one at a time. We decided that “this too shall pass” and just traded off to get to service ourselves as best we could. One day even the shyest one said good bye and ran off to Sunday School without looking back. Keep your relationship with the Lord up, and your children will see and want to keep theirs up too. No worries. God is good! All the time…
April
May 2, 2013 at 8:36 pmThank you – for sharing all that God places on your heart to share –
richmondwe
May 3, 2013 at 7:49 pmthank you for the encouragement! I think it will be helpful Sunday as I wrestle the baby and hang out in the cry room! It is good to remember whose glory we are seeking
veronicakoz
May 3, 2013 at 10:29 pmThat was such a great post… thank you for your encouragement and truth!
Tired, but happy, mom
August 2, 2013 at 12:47 pmRecently found your blog and have been reading through older posts. I’ve enjoyed your openness and sincerity, and I really could identify with this one. My husband works many weekends, and with one toddler already and another little one on the way, getting us up and put together just to drag ourselves into church where multiple mishaps inevitably occur…well, it does get a bit overwhelming and I have found myself thinking on more than one occasion, why am I doing this?? I wish there were some way to discreetly send this to the older ladies in my church, so that instead of criticizing me when my child is teething and fussy or when I forget my coat on a cooler day b/c I worked up a sweat just getting us into the car on time, I could be met with a word of encouragement and not a judgmental look or criticism (even to my face sometimes!). Anyway, I really appreciated this post and just wanted to say thanks. 🙂
Cathy
November 23, 2014 at 3:13 pmI wondered where you were this morning. I hope the boys feel 100% better soon! I’m sure your service was wonderful – I’ve heard the Happy Buddy preach before and he’s excellent! God bless!
Sara
March 5, 2015 at 9:18 amThis resonates with me so much! We had our first little baby February 2014 and I have tried to take her to church, and stopped. We have a congregation of 15 people, and my family is the youngest by about 40 years. But, I love the messages that come from the church, and I can’t see leaving it. I knew the nursing made the older generation uncomfortable, and there was no nursery service provided, and my daughter just howled.. so we stopped going. This blog post gives me a push to go back and try again! (by the way, I adore everything you write, and everything about your spirit. I have been following your blog since before I had my daughter, and I just love it 🙂 )