The tips I am about to share with you are a bit… unconventional.
I am well aware of the fact that I am not a perfect parent and have made PLENTY of mistakes along the parenting way.
{{Sometimes I’m amazed that my kids are alive at all.}}
Some may say those mistakes created my picky eater, but I love Jesus and His Spirit lives in me and therefore I must remember that my weaknesses are opportunities for the Lord to redeem and get glory and draw me ever-so-much closer to Him in the process.
These tips were birthed out of a long and frustrating season with an extreme picky eater who ended up pooping out his poop sac because he was so constipated from malnutrition (you can read about that HERE – IF you have a strong stomach).
Every kid is different and sometimes we parents need to get creative to get results.
So if you’ve tried hiding vegetable purees in your child’s pancakes and you’ve tried renaming vegetables as well-known super heroes and you’ve tried spending 30 minutes making carrots and celery look like a spaceship only to watch your stubborn child precious little angel go to bed hungry because he refuses to eat food that isn’t beige –
THESE TIPS ARE FOR YOU.
It took the better part of a year (and a lot of nights spent praying for a broccoli breakthrough), but I am happy to report that my extreme picky eater is now happily munching on that broccoli, AS WELL AS carrots, green beans, spinach, asparagus, strawberries, raisins, zucchini, mushrooms, peppers, onions, apples, and grapes – to name a few.
Ok, I guess I should say he’s mostly happily eating those things.
Ok, somewhat happily.
Ok, so it’s more like how you feel about exercise – you do it because you know it’s good for you, but it’s not like you’re frolicking up the sidewalk to your local gym with a huge smile on your face.
(Except for the few crazy birds out there who actually enjoy breaking a sweat and waking up at 4 am for a run or for spin class or for CrossFit. **These are probably the same people who don’t have picky eaters.**)
The point is, we’ve come a lonnnnng way from that fateful night last July.
And these Extreme Picky Eater Solutions were what saved us.
#1 – Vegetable Brain Washing
One of the most important aspects of training picky eaters is to change the way they think about food.
They need to see foods like spinach and blueberries as powerful tools to fuel their body and foods like nuggets and ice cream as occasional blessings (and by occasional I mean only a few times a week :-)).
So I have made it my mission to sneak in ‘vegetable subliminal messages’ whenever and where ever I possibly can.
I downloaded THIS APP featuring dancing, happy vegetables and let my boys play with it at special times throughout the week.
When we have pretend play in the Happy Buddy’s kitchen and he asks me what I would like to eat, I ALWAYS ask for a salad. I am happy to enjoy his delicious felt cupcakes and delectable plastic cookies only after I have eaten all my veggies.
We watch lots and lots of Veggie Tales and I make comments like, “Oh, look at Larry. He’s a cucumber. Mmmm, I love cucumbers.”
We talk about the differences between ‘God-made’ food and ‘man-made’ food.
Once we were at a birthday party and they were serving cupcakes with green-dyed shredded coconut on top. The Happy Buddy pointed to it and said, “Look, Mommy! Zucchini!”
Bam. Brainwashed.
#2 – Tiny Bites
Once we tried to give the Happy Buddy some full-sized strawberries and he went and threw up all over the back of the couch.
**He has sensory issues.**
So I started cutting everything to be the size of something Polly Pocket would be pleased with and this helped our vegetable and fruit eating efforts tremendously.
#3 – Dip It
Picky eaters usually like ketchup.
As long as I’ve got a bottle of the red stuff in the fridge, the Happy Buddy can get through almost any vegetable I serve him.
(Except avocados – the texture on those is just way beyond his capabilities.)
And, besides, we all KNOW that ketchup is a vegetable, too, so it’s alllllllllll good.
#4 – Wrap It up, Serve It Again
This is the tip that brought us the MOST success in getting our boy to eat – BY FAR.
I make a healthy dinner. I put a sufficient portion of it on my child’s plate. He is responsible for eating it.
If he doesn’t eat the food on the plate (in a reasonable amount of time – sometimes we have to set a timer as a motivating factor), then I wrap it up and put it in the fridge and his job is to finish it in the morning.
It sounds harsh, but let me tell you something – we only had to do this TWICE before the Happy Buddy realized if he ever wanted to see Saturday-morning pancakes or scrambled eggs and toast again, then he’d better finish his dinner.
Now please don’t think I’m militant about this every single night. If he’s tired or sick or he really (really) doesn’t like the meal or seems to genuinely be not hungry, there is always GRACE.
But for the most part all I have to say is, “Hmm, I wonder how that will taste for breakfast?” and his food is gone in a matter of seconds.
#5 – Bartering
I have found that sometimes having nutritionally unprofitable food around can be highly beneficial to getting my child to try new, healthy options.
For example, the other day the Happy Buddy had a hankering for pretzels.
So I calmly said, “You can have pretzels, but first you can eat this yummy bowl of carrot sticks.”
If he is reeeeeally hungry, he will eat the carrots. If he’s not, he’ll just be hungrier for dinner.
It’s a win-win.
#6 – Fun Times
Some people might say these tips are more power plays and could potentially make mealtime a negative experience for my child.
To that I would say – Um, do you even know me??
There is a reason why this blog is called HAPPY Home Fairy. I’m ALL ABOUT pursuing a happy home. So even though I might be laying down the law when it comes to what my kids eat, we always have a good time in between reminders to get all that broccoli in his belly.
We use THESE Free Printable Conversation Starters.
We play the soundtrack to Frozen.
I occasionally perform selections from the Broadway musical Wicked.
We eat on plates shaped like Mickey Mouse.
We have dance parties and hug festivals when someone tries a new food or eats everything on his plate without complaining.
We act silly – like just tonight the Happy Baby wasn’t eating his lasagna, so I pretended to fall asleep. He called out to me and I over-dramatically startled awake. He burst into laughter and then immediately asked for me to do it again.
So I said I would do it again only if he took a bite of his food.
Needless to say, I had to ‘fall asleep’ about 50 times, but the plate got finished.
#7 – Be prepared for some drama.
You would not even believe the scene that went down in our kitchen one day several months back over a GRAPE.
A grape, people.
But – by the strength of God alone – I stuck to my guns.
Because the thing with picky eaters is that they can wear you down. You’re so tired of fighting all. the. time. that you give in and throw a few nuggets in the microwave instead of having them eat the dinner you prepared.
All the visions of happy, peaceful family mealtimes you had as a starry-eyed pregnant woman are shattered as you watch your child go into hysteria over one small grape.
But if you’re really serious about seeing your Happy Buddy grow as an eater, you have to be ready for a battle (and possibly some spinach thrown in your face).
Hebrews 12:11 says, “No training seems pleasant at the time. In fact, it seems painful. But later on it produces a harvest of godliness and peace.”
I often have to remind myself that parenting involves TRAINING and any kind of training requires hard work and time (even the perfect Crossfit-ing parents will agree with me on that). 🙂
Try to see every vegetable kick back, every mealtime meltdown, every defiant ‘no’ as an opportunity to help your child grow into the person God wants them to be.
It won’t be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it.
For EVERYONE involved.
So, sweet Mama, be encouraged.
The harvest will come.
– Julie 🙂
*I am NOT a nutritionist or a dietitian. I am only sharing what was helpful for our family – which is quite possibly completely different than yours. You ultimately know what is best and what will work for your Happy Home!*
**I may or may not have bribed the Happy Buddy with a chocolate chip cookie to do the above photo shoot. :-)**
Thanks for Hebrews 12:11 that is going on my fridge and by that I mean the size of the top half of my fridge!!!
Kelly, I love that verse too!
This is great, Julie! Don’t feel any mommy guilt – I have two girls, raised the same way, and one is terribly picky while the other wants an assortment of raw veggies for lunch, and will eat them without dipping in anything. It baffles me, but I’m just thankful I only have to perform feats for one of them. 🙂
This is amazing, THANK YOU! I started Gluten-Free/Casein Free diet with my oldest and the first couple days I thought he was possessed by the devil asking for ” APPLEEEEEE JUIIIICCCEE” but by day 5 he was behaving better, more social and increased his speech! I didn’t think I could do it with all I have on my plate but followed recipes in a very easy book and now I read labels more than ever. Its possible! These tips really helped me in other ways – last night, I made meatloaf in cupcake tins…and even that didn’t work. THANKS FOR SHARING! I will try some of these as well!! You are amazing, inspiring in every way – blessing us all! God Bless!
Julie,
Great post. Keep on listening to the Holy Spirit!! He will give you the wisdom you need when you need it. 🙂 we too have used the dinner for breakfast “opportunity”. My mother-in-law used it with her kids years ago too. As always, thanks for being transparent & keeping it real. Your love for Jesus is so apparent. To Him be all the glory!!
YES!!! I did the same things with my kids as they grew up, eating it for breakfast is a family tradition as I recall it from my childhood and I know my grandkids know it well :). Oh and for the record out of my four children two are vegans… so all veggies do get their day! The other two eat meats but both are very picky about which and how much of it they eat and none of them would dream of putting one of those nuggets into their mouth .. but they do also use them for the kids sometimes. One daughter has found organic fish nuggets that her kids love and she feel alright about giving them more often.
We have some of the same rules. You have to eat 3 bites of everything on your plate. If not you get it for breakfast ( We’ve only had to do it with each child once). There is also no extra food after dinner unless you “clean” ( eat the majority of the food) your plate. Works pretty well most days. I do adjust some food to be kid friendly if what the adults are having is something they don’t like but I do try to get them to take one bit. Mine would NEVER eat lasagna. You are doing a fabulous job.
Your blog is so informative, insightful, humorous and helpful that I am going to share with all the mommies of picky little eaters I know. God Bless you for your ministry in nutrition. We are also to present our bodies a living sacrifice…So we need to teach our children to eat healthy.
Paula – you are awesome. Thanks for your encouraging words!
My children dip their carrot sticks and green beans, etc. in ketchup as well! It sounds a lot grosser than a Ranch, but it’s actually much healthier! 😉 I really want them to accept hummus as a food, but so far no one has bought into my propaganda. And I too plan my meals with a bribery tool. You would like to have some of this yummy bread item? Great–broccoli first! 😉
This was a great post! My pickiest eater is now 30 years old ~ and he still doesn’t like noodles or rice. He will choke down a small amount during a company dinner but that’s it. There may be some things that Happy Baby/buddy never like ~ but trying them is half the battle! And bribery is ok mommy behavior!
Your vegetable-hugging boy earned his pay for that awesome photo shoot! My favorite pic is the one of him tenderly communing with the asparagus. Maybe you should do a printable for the fridges of the world: The Happy Buddy Celebrates Veggies! Your perseverance and creativity are worthy of celebration. Go, mama!!
Awesome!!! Love your clever tricks. They all show how much creativeness and love you have for your boys:) thank u!
This is an answered prayer post written for this mama’s heart this week. Our son is nearly 5 years old and only eats cruchy carbs, ice cream, peanut butter, milk, and water…so…trying some of your encouraging steps with him…some we have already tried of course! Hoping in Him, trusting Him, an loving that God makes us all different!
Girl, I will say a prayer for you! You can do this! Joshua 1:9
Fabulous and creative ideas, Julie. I think you should feel really proud of how far you have helped the Happy Buddy come with his eating. I’m super impressed.
All of this makes me think of a funny memory. We too had certain rules about finishing meals etc. I’d try to make some things that were healthy, but kid friendly. After my daughter was grown, I found out that she had always hated one of the meals I made that I thought was kid friendly. She ate it for years though and isn’t damaged by having done so. lol It gives us something to laugh about now.
Mama, I did the “you can have it now or you can have it for breakfast” trick at least once with each child. My last one had to finish her Trader Joe’s orange chicken. She does not like chicken. That plate emerged the first time at dinner. The second time at breakfast Sunday morning. Oh, and we had a special lunch at church that day. Yup, that plate went along with us to church—where I was blissfully encouraged by other moms in the kitchen! She took 20 hours to finish 3 little chicken bits and some rice and veggies. The record? THREE HOURS with a piece of chicken in her mouth. Seriously, 20 hours. And we have not had Trader Joe’s orange chicken since. I don’t ever want to see it again!
And hopefully your Bud won’t be the kid in college who can’t keep his poop sac in his tush. That would be overly traumatic for all involved!
Thank you for sharing your picky eater woes with us. I also have a picky eater and my husband and I are banging our heads against the wall. I am excited to implement some of your suggestions.
Melissa – dealing with picky eaters is so hard. I pray you will find some inspiration here!!!
Great tips 🙂
I have picky eaters also. We were tired of wasting food and their sour attitudes were intolerable, so we made the “two bites rule”.They had to eat two bites before they could get anything else to eat. We have since slowly increased the amount of food to four bites and they have to finish it. If they do, they can have fruit/veggies of their choice or something that I offer. If they want more of what’s served, that’s great. We’ve had to put food in the fridge a few times too.
They are more likely to eat willingly if they help prepare the food. I try to include them if a recipe has more than a few ingredients.
Jennifer – great idea. I love it!
I have one of those picky eaters. Sigh. My child vomits every new food I try to get him to eat. He has been eating waffles plain, no butter or syrup for the last 5 years. I put a drop the size of a pea of pancake syrup on his waffle to try and he threw it up. I’m sure it’s mind over matter but I just don’t know how to get past it. I thought a sweet treat might show him that not all new foods taste like vegetables.
Signed,
A mom who is sick of cleaning up puke
Ugh! Tricia! I am SO sorry about your picky eater!!! It is unbelievably frustrating, I know!!! I hope that this article encouraged you in some small way that it can get better! It just took time and lots of trying… My heart goes out to you, sister. Let me know if I can help in any way. xoxo
Thank you for your honest transparency! My oldest just turned 8. We have had ebbs & flows, but his eating has never been easy. I am exasperated as my (almost) 4 year old is picking up big brother’s habits. I am feeling frustrated fighting the monsters I have created. Your story gives me hope! I realize it is going to take some time, but I am fully relying on the Lord to change our lives!! Thank you again for your encouragement. I so very much want to help my children see who God has created them to be! We all had green beans on our plate tonight. The boys panicked as my 18 month old princess gobbled them up. I can’t wait to see where God can take us in a year! Here’s to next summer enjoying those darn green beans together!!
I’m so encouraged to hear from other moms who deal with this. I (yes, me) had a meltdown yesterday because mealtime is my very least favorite time of day. I dread it. It actually makes me angry most of the time. My son is not picky because of taste (most of the time) or texture, it’s all visual and willful. He ate everything as an infant, but as soon as he had to start feeding himself, it all went downhill. He will eat most fruit now and he’s always been a meat lover, but guacamole is the only green thing he’ll put in his mouth. Corn passes the test too, but that’s it. He won’t even eat mashed potatoes. And despite loving spaghetti, he refuses any other type of pasta even if the sauce is the same. It makes zero sense to me. And I’m just tired of planning a meal and having a fight. So, so frustrating. Thankfully his younger sister will try about anything and asked for seconds on broccoli last night. It at least makes me feel like it’s not all my parenting that caused the pickiness. 🙂 It’s just so hard. I’m going to try some of your tips. Maybe it will help. And since he loves those pureed pouches, I’ll keep giving them to him. I only buy the veggie ones and he LOVES them. I’m telling you, it makes zero sense!
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I needed this, thank you! In YOUR opinion, what age can you safely 🙂 start the “wrap it up, serve it again” rule? My son is 2 and the pickiest eater I know. Sometimes, I think he would rather not eat than humor me and eat what I serve. He only eats a handful of things and only 2 of them are healthy :(. Love your blog!
Hi Julie! Thank you for your comment and encouragement! Hmmm… I would say you know your child best! We JUST started this with our 3 year old, but he had a lot of food issues before that (as in he used to have a feeding tube!). It’s a hard decision to make, but I know the Lord will equip you with everything you need to do what’s right for your little buddy! I will pray he starts eating more! God bless you, mommy warrior!!
I am struggling with a 2 year old who hates food for the last 1 year and life is hell for both of us as I have to shove food in liquid Form in his mouth on daily basis even though it is cruel.He is only 10 kg.
He eats very little qty of food like a bird.
Any help since u have already crossed that stage?
We are in India so here it’s normal to shove food by holding his hand up to the age of 1 if baby refuses to eat in upright position even after diverting or tried everything else.But after age1 this is not normal here since 98% of kids eat when given enough diversion.
I’m so sorry to hear this, sister! Picky eaters are such a challenge! I encourage you to just keep at it! Try all of my tips in this post, be consistent, and pray for your little one! He is in God’s hands.