Dear Happy Baby,
The day you were born and they whisked you away in respiratory distress, the Lord whispered to my spirit that you would be just fine.
But why has this first year been such a roller coaster?
The obvious is that God has a plan for your life that is going to blow everyone’s minds – already is.
From Day 1 of my journey as a mommy I have allowed strongholds of fear to rule and reign in my heart, hindering me from truly enjoying the gift of my babies.
Your life has shown me that I cannot control what happens to my babies.
But I can control how I choose to trust Him in the daily grind (and even in the toughest, most difficult and darkest of places) – trust that by His sovereign grace, things are going to be just fine.
When you were in my tummy, I prayed 4 things for you.
As we celebrate this day, I have been reflecting on God’s answers to all of these H’s.
I love hearing you coo and babble in your crib when you wake up. I love how you kick your legs like a mad man when someone raises you high in the air. I love how you give your big brother giant smiles in the car when we get him from preschool. I love how at 3 in the morning you lean back, look at me, grin, and then burrow that sweet precious face of yours into my shoulder. I love how I can take you anywhere and you will be so chill. I’ll never forget that time I drove panicked to the GI doctor early one morning because I thought your feeding tube site had become infected and we ended up waiting at the office for over 5 hours. The whole time you never stopped smiling and it helped me remember that even with the craziness that is our life, it’s all good.
Yes, God has made you Happy, indeed.
When you were in the hospital, I could tell from the very first day, that the nurses knew you were something special. As time passed, your hospital room became a hang out place. Nurses who had served you previously would stop by to check in on you. One nurse even dragged you and your swing into the hall so that everyone walking by could have a brightening. To this day I get comments on this blog from one of the nurses that was in your delivery room! Your physical therapist added a whole extra day of therapy for you each week just because she wants to see you more. Church friends and family can’t wait to spend time with you – have a chance to hold you. You make people feel warm and invited.
Yes, God has given you a Hospitable spirit.
After bath time and you’re on the changing table, you like to cover your face with a towel while I frantically repeat, “Where’s the Happy Baby?” Then you throw the towel off and giggle like a maniac while I say, “There he is!” (Repeat 100 times.) You get this big goofy grin when you pee in the tub. You sometimes just laugh to yourself for no reason at all. You think it’s hilarious to stiffen your legs when I am trying to change you out of feet-y pajamas and can’t because you won’t bend your knees. I’ll put food on your tray, turn around to do something, and when I’ve turned back the food is gone and I joyfully think you’ve eaten it all, but then later find that you’ve stored it all next to your thighs – sneaky lil’ rascal. While out on walks you enjoy tossing toys out of the stroller because you get a kick out of me picking them up. You like to roll under the crib and hide. I don’t even know why I bother putting socks on you.
Yes, I see that little sense of Humor coming through.
Some might think that this last prayer – the prayer for your Health – was not answered. I mean, you were quite sick when you were born and today you have some serious weak constitution and we’re tracking a serious cold/bronchitis/ear infection thing about every other month.
But let’s just take a look at the facts.
We were told this day of your first birthday would never come.
We were told that our time with you would be short – that we should just take you home and make you comfortable.
We were told you would never crawl or roll over, or sit up, or lift your head.
And here we are, 12 months later, and boy, are you showing them!!!! 🙂
You do not have a genetic disease. Your hypotonia is improving. Your feeding tube didn’t last as long as they expected. Your barfs are fewer and farther between. And this last month when you caught another bad cold, you didn’t end up with an ear infection!
Yes, that sounds like Health to me.
And I’ve even added a fifth H to the list.
Thank you, precious boy, for being my constant reminder that God is faithful and that no matter what, because of His great faithfulness, we are all just fine.
Happy Birthday, Happy Baby.
I love you so much.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28